marital bliss
It figures as soon as I cracked and talked about it….he was up last night. Up and awake and we curled up like two apostrophe’s on a comfy sheet of paper and we talked and talked and talked until he finally mentioned that he had a long day the next day..today. And he does…a 4 hour trip both ways….before his actual job’s today. I hope he’s smiling today like I am.
Mostly….I miss him like crazy and have never experienced that with anyone before. Sure I’ve missed having someone around before but not this aching need to feel close to someone. Incomplete and frayed at the edges if I don’t see him or connect with him for days on end. The rest of my life feels fractured and off balance. I truly am a better person when he is present in my world. Perhaps I am needy? Perhaps I just like life better with him in it? Perhaps I just miss my husband a lot lately. Perhaps that’s all true and quite evident.
Either way I am a much happier girl this morning….
And twice as happy because instead of “complaining” or “venting” on him I simply curled up into him and let myself enjoy being right there with him…warm and safe and content. ahhh…the good flipside of marriage.
My husband and I have semi opposite schedules - he works from 4AM to Noon and I work from 8AM to 5PM. He gets up and leaves at 3AM and is ready for bed at 8PM. That give us approximately 2.5 hours together IF one of us does not have something going on in the evening. Often I feel guilty going to my yoga class, or especially guilty having a dinner after work with the girls. Sometimes I get frustrated because I wonder what he does from Noon until when I get home - especially on the days that there is a lot of laundry, clean up and errands to be done.
Missing him makes me cranky - being cranky makes me short with him - all of that makes our short 2.5 hours together less pleasant. We have worked on it over the last 2 years and now most days are great but being lonely and feeling like your husband is a roommate is hard and sad.
I am glad you got to apostrophe