shishnit.org

I love when people recommend books. I like them to know I actually listen and appreciate their input. So much so that I actually buy and “read” the books. I’ll be reading this one next.

I am feeling better.  Talking with and being around my son usually does the trick for me.  I’m a tad bit agitated because there’s a leak in the faucet in the kitchen again.  Yes, I said again.   The air conditioner is freezing up and when I turn it off once it seizes up, then I have to wait for the half a gallon of water to run out of it into a bucket.  This place just sucks and we’re both so ready to move out.  One more month and of course everything is going to break in that time.

In the morning I need to go obtain a letter from the apartment complex for our new landlord.  Sounds easy, eh?  It would be except, this place is so difficult to deal with that I dread having to go.  I hope that somehow I can get the letter from them tomorrow with no hassles.  I don’t want to deal with it beyond a few minutes if at all possible.

I’m doing better and wanted to thank every person that follows along and has offered up a good thought, some advise and or just sent their best wishes.  It all matters to me and I appreciate it greatly.

The kid..he’s 14 but I swear he’s going on 32 or something.  He’s so smart and so full of wisdom.  Between him and “him” and two women who I will keep anonymous….I feel like I’m starting to feel somewhat normal again. 

I did a ton of research about my feelings and I have learned that I am not a monster having bad thoughts but rather I am a normal infertile woman having the same feelings millions of other’s have.  I don’t know if that makes the feelings more bearable but it’s at least more understandable.

I do find it rather difficult that when I went to buy a book to help me cope with these feelings, there weren’t any.  There were only books to assist you in getting pregnant.  None of them to help you deal with the grief and feelings of loss and certainly it’s absolutely wrong that they put any infertility book right beside “What to Expect when you’re Expecting.”

And much like someone who just buy’s one type of car and then notices that car everywhere they go…everywhere I go someone is pushing a stroller towards me or discussing their sonogram while walking down the University hallways.  It’s as if somehow the world knows I am trying to overcome and it’s testing me.

I am even more anxious to go to my doctor and tell him that it’s absolutely insane to treat a woman with fertility issues without discussing the depression, anger and solitude that they will feel.  I want to kick him in his nuts over that lack of information.  I suppose I can’t really be that angry with him as he’s not a fertility specialist but rather a cancer one.

And that…the mere fear I went through thinking I may have cancer..that fear alone should scare me out of feeling so damned sad about the possibility of a life with my husband that bears no children.  It’s not as if I can’t see us building a good life without a child, I just can’t even begin to imagine where to start building or how to go about it.  It seems a silly thing perhaps to some and even a choice to others.  A choice I fully respect. 

And then just for fun….I love to correct my fellow classmates.  I can’t believe how so many of them just can’t figure out APA.

This would need a proper citation in the reference page like this.  You are referencing an edited book.  You have to provide the title of the book, the authors of the book…the page number or chap. you are referencing, the place the book was published, and by whom, etc.  Resource materials are not cited to the University. The University did not write the text or resource materials that they provide for our use.
 
Engleberg, I., & Wynn, D. (2003). Group Formation and Development. In  (Ed.), Working in groups: Communication principals and strategies (3rd ed., p.??). Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin Company.
 

You would also need this at the end of your reference within the text.  (Engleberg & Wynn, 2003, p. ??) or in your case (Engleberg & Wynn, 2003, chap. 8 )

Please review your APA manual on how to properly cite.  You could probably get away with leaving out the (Engleberg & Wynn, 2003, chap. 8 )  within the text because you are saying “According to…
 

But it’s not “According to University week one reading….”    Again…no mention of the University we attend is correct because the University didn’t write the information.
 

I’m sorry if no one’s ever corrected you on this before.   

There’s an ugly term for it.  Apparently it doesn’t necessarily matter who donated the sperm…if you’re still married….it’s the legal husbands child.  He could certainly make getting a divorce ever now….very difficult. He could insist on DNA testing etc.  I’m told he’s a crack addict.  Not the father….but rather her husband she took off on.  I wonder if she’ll split out on my brother in law too.  And if she did….then who’s kid is it?  I think about that whole Anna Nicole issue with her baby and how quickly it got resolved…but those people had money and resources.  I’m not wishing ill…I just have a feeling someday I’m going to look back on this entry and go…”hmm…this is why you get divorced before you bring innocent people into your mess.”

Sure I’m a hormonal mental case right now…I can admit that.  But I sure never got married and then had a kid that wasn’t my husbands.  It’s impossible for me to have respect for that.  I keep thinking about the Mr. in the shadows and how he might feel being wronged like this.  They say he’s a crack addict but if you ask my ex-husband it’s hard telling what he might call me…sure some of it may be true but he also called his whore his wife when she was someone else’s and he had a wife and kid at home he was lying to.  And lets just say she’s telling the truth and he is a crack addict….then he has no money and no mind left…you coulda divorced him in the state of Florida twice by now..even if he didn’t give consent.  The state of Florida says that if one party wants a divorce and the other party doesn’t….in one year it will be granted anyway. 

If I was her husband I would run to the attorney’s office.  Run I tell ya…..

How do people justify their crap? 

Adulterine Bastard 

Adulterine bastard, although not used in many places, is a term used to describe a child born to a married woman when the woman’s husband is not the father of the child. This may occur if a woman becomes pregnant by someone other than her husband during the marriage; if a woman enters the marriage already pregnant (by someone other than her husband); or if a woman, without her husband’s consent, becomes pregnant through artificial insemination by donor.  In the past, many divorcing husbands attempted to evade paying child support in these situations, claiming that the children were adulterine bastards and therefore not “theirs.” Many states, however, have laws which irrefutably presume (that is, the presumption cannot be disproved) that a child born during a marriage is the child of the husband, regardless of who the biological father is.