wow that was a big check!

I wrote my husband a pretty big check this morning.  Twice today I have nearly fallen into a huge anxiety attack.  While I trust him, I have trust issues.  After so many disappointing events with “other” men in my life, it’s difficult for me not to freak out.  It was a rather large check from my account to his.  For what purpose?  Honestly it’s because he’s far far more responsible with money than me.  He doesn’t get distracted by racks of new books, shoes, emails from Old Navy advertising new spring/summer clothes, etc. etc. etc.  He doesn’t go to Starbucks every day if he feels like it.  And yes with the new house in the picture I am going to have to revise some of my spending habits myself.  However, the smartest thing for me to do is to write him a big check and be content in the knowledge that the man will take care of things far better than I. 

I considered paying off my car recently, but the savings for paying off early was really not significant, in fact it was so small I don’t know if I was actually saving anything at all!!  So I skipped that idea and figured the smartest financial move was to entrust him with that giant bankroll.

Oh but the angst.  I nearly drove back to the apartment to snatch back that check….and yes that’s my own issue speaking not his inability or lack of trustworthiness.  I know that since I did that I will not feel so badly about being the one with more bills/expenses than him and I won’t be frivolous with that money.  Oh but the angst when writing that check…..it was there.  It’s slowly subsiding.  I know it’s the right decision, I’m overcoming an issue and that’s never pain free.

We’re both anxious to get the show on the road.  We are not slated to get the keys until the 15^th and the lease we’re currently in with our apartment is not up until the end of May so we have to pay May’s rent but we’re both fried on the whole apartment complex, etc.  We’re done with it and yet have to deal with it for another month.  It’s going to suck.  I watched two Mexican guys this morning moving stuff from one apartment to another one across the way…meaning about five apartment doors down from one to another, same size apartment.  This means something seriously went wrong in their apartment and they were moved due to it.  I oh so know what this feels like and while I could relate I was also fed up just seeing it happening.

I suppose we just can’t wait to move on to bigger and better things….  I personally can’t wait to get settled and bake some cookies in that kitchen.