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Ok so last week I had another trans vag test and another pelvic sonogram.  I thought I saw the last of Dr. Oncologist.  No such luck.  Even though he told me to schedule with my OB/GYN to discuss Chlomid.

His office called me yesterday and told me they found something “worrisome” and “concerning” on the trans vag test and that Dr. Oncologist wants me to come in and schedule another D&C.

Fuck me.

Seriously…..as soon as I accept what is happening I get nailed with different news.  Its like being whipped around like a yo yo.

The other bad thing about this and yah I shouldn’t even be concerned.

I start a new position on June 1^st and I’m currently having a mad dash to get training from the last girl who does this job who is leaving on June 1^st.  And now I had to schedule an appointment (I go next Thursday to Dr. Oncologist again…).  I am truly getting to where I am at a loss and I mostly wish I didn’t have PCOS and that I wasn’t ever born a girl.

Seriously…..fuck.

I worked all day today, even though this was previously supposed to be my day off.  I have tons of pages of directions….but still have no clue what I am doing.  Mostly pulling and compiling tons of different reports.  Nothing that scares me.  But I worked yesterday until 10:10 p.m. and got up and went back to Tampa (3 days in a row!!!) to train.

I’m tired….sick of being female sick…..and frustrated…to say the least.  I plan a hot bath tonight….lots of cuddling with my husband who was fantastic and gave me the worlds biggest hug this morning before we both left for work.

I work my old/current position tomorrow and must do another entire report by the close of business for that position. 

I’m stressed….currently tired…..and quite frankly…after that phone call from the oncologist…

I have to write two papers before Monday….both I haven’t even started doing research for.

I’d rather spend the holiday weekend with my husband….

I’m scared too.  God how I’m trying not to be….but I am.