history

Sometimes I look at him and I think about our history. The good times, the trying times, the times that I have cried in frustration for wanting to be a better girlfriend then wife. Sometimes I think about our humble beginnings and our first dinner together, remembering the way I played with that straw because I liked him, really liked him and needed to try to distract myself from that nervousness.

Sometimes I remember all the nights I used to pick him up from the restaurant and all the times I leaned against him crying my eyes out over the past. And in one fell swoop I am overcome with gratitude.

Today he took me to see “Evening” and didn’t complain once about what a totally female movie it is and was.  He even said he kinda liked it.  He cut the entire backyard this morning, then the movie and then he grilled some steaks for dinner.  He’s a great guy.  Sometimes I have to remind myself so that I never forget just how lucky I am.  I am….

Someone recently asked me if I am fulfilled, if he gives me all that I need. I don’t believe another person can “make you” happy. I am happy with Rick because he allows me to be myself true and true and in all ways. He allows me to be up when I’m up and down when I’m down. And he mostly allows me to be and do the things that I desire to be and do. And because in my mind he doesn’t interfere or get in my way but rather he enhances all that I desire to have and do. He encourages me and is always in my corner.

Yes we have problems, all relationships have them. If they don’t, someone’s in denial. But….I am happy and I love that when I look back on our history I am filled with gratitude for all that we have gone through together and of all that we have together accomplished. I love my husband more today than I did yesterday but mostly I love that when I think about our yesterdays they are full of happy memories, funny memories and memories of “us”. I love that….truly I love that when I speak about my husband to other people, I am always smiling.