Short update. I’m taking the Provera..day two. I’ve taken it 3 months (about six months ago for other reasons) just to induce a period. The Clomid comes after you bleed. I’m fine. And I’m still working and I’m still a college student and I’m still already a mother to a great kid.
I know I said I wouldn’t share, but at the request of my husband I am sharing. We went to the doctor’s office today. They didn’t have our test results in my file.
Apparently they were sent to the wrong office.
But…..the nurse found them at the other office and had them faxed over to Dr. OB/GYN.
I walked out of his office with three pieces of paper.
One for a script for Provera.
One for a script for Clomid.
And directions:
No sex on days 1 thru 9
Sex on days 10, 12, 14, 16, 18, and 20
Stay in bed 1-3 hours afterwards.
And just to clarify…I was told “you’re perfectly normal” Rick was told while the Dr. read his results “and you are perfectly normal”.
This is the first time I ever went to his office and wasn’t poked or prodded. Oops…I take that back. They did a pregnancy test to make sure I’m not already pregnant. I call tomorrow to get clearance to begin.
Just to be clear….Rick’s semen analysis test was absolutely normal. I was absolutely wrong but we both agree we had reasons to be concerned. Rick just wants my blog world to know that he’s ok…he’s a man….with normal sperm. 
There’s a 10% chance of us having twins if I do successfully get pregnant.
Sometimes I look at him and I think about our history. The good times, the trying times, the times that I have cried in frustration for wanting to be a better girlfriend then wife. Sometimes I think about our humble beginnings and our first dinner together, remembering the way I played with that straw because I liked him, really liked him and needed to try to distract myself from that nervousness.
Sometimes I remember all the nights I used to pick him up from the restaurant and all the times I leaned against him crying my eyes out over the past. And in one fell swoop I am overcome with gratitude.
Today he took me to see “Evening” and didn’t complain once about what a totally female movie it is and was. He even said he kinda liked it. He cut the entire backyard this morning, then the movie and then he grilled some steaks for dinner. He’s a great guy. Sometimes I have to remind myself so that I never forget just how lucky I am. I am….
Someone recently asked me if I am fulfilled, if he gives me all that I need. I don’t believe another person can “make you” happy. I am happy with Rick because he allows me to be myself true and true and in all ways. He allows me to be up when I’m up and down when I’m down. And he mostly allows me to be and do the things that I desire to be and do. And because in my mind he doesn’t interfere or get in my way but rather he enhances all that I desire to have and do. He encourages me and is always in my corner.
Yes we have problems, all relationships have them. If they don’t, someone’s in denial. But….I am happy and I love that when I look back on our history I am filled with gratitude for all that we have gone through together and of all that we have together accomplished. I love my husband more today than I did yesterday but mostly I love that when I think about our yesterdays they are full of happy memories, funny memories and memories of “us”. I love that….truly I love that when I speak about my husband to other people, I am always smiling.
Sometimes I am so absolutely sick of being a college student I could spit bile across big huge rooms. I am currently in a finance class that is kicking my behind. I am just not good with formula’s and numbers. It’s insane. I am more of a creative person than a hardcore factual person.
Yes…sometimes I seriously consider chucking it…but thankfully those moments are temporary and they pass quickly.
I mean….I’ve already put 2 ½ years of my life into this venture. I’m not throwing all of that away. But this course will certainly not garner me an A. I’m sure of it. Even though after the first week I have a perfect score….I can tell you it’s not going to stay that way. And honestly I’m ok with that….I know these are not my strong points. I just prefer to get those easy A’s over struggling to feel like I’m passing.
It could be worse tho’…I could be the one outside cutting the backyard with a pushmower in 85 degree weather that feels like 91 at 10:30 in the morning on a Sunday. poor guy…….
