Today I got an unexpected bonus at work and bought myself another Superhero necklace. This time the champagne. I can’t wait. get one here!
I’m tired…just tired. That’s really all I have to report. I’m treating myself to some neck candy to try and cheer myself up. All is ok..just tired. I am also getting out of work a tad early today because I have a great boss. 3 p.m. dismissal…ahh And a trip to the bookstore. I’m craving carrot juice too so I’ll get some later….
Tonight after a night out to dinner …while walking to the front I caught a whiff of someone else’s fish dinner and nearly thew up my newly eaten dinner. I had to steady myself and take deep breathes of what I hoped would be fresh air. The fish was freshly made……
This is where the hope begins…..am I nauseated for good reason?
The mind is the trickiest of organs to play with.
Today I sent my husband a very sexy text message. It was what I was thinking at the moment and I went with it. I just sent it. I got a phone call from him an hour later and he told me he was working in my area and wanted to stop by and say hi to me at work. Mmm….nice.
So he arrived a few minutes later in a big moving truck in the parking lot, which I can see from my desk since I have a window desk. Nice.
I walked out and for whatever reasons it was just so so nice to see him in the middle of my working day when I don’t usually get to do that. It was thrilling, like when you are first dating someone and you glimpse their face somewhere.
He promised that he had something for me tonight.
I think I finally figured out how to navigate through the woe’s of fertility drugs and planning without too much strife. This go around has been pleasantly different. When they say things are all dictated by our mindsets they sure aren’t kidding.
That boy in my work parking lot today…still makes my heart dance and bang around in my ribcage.
A few weeks ago Rick was sick…mostly congested and snotty. He also had a cough. So one day while speaking to him over the phone and listening to his “sick” voice I stated, “You need an expectorant so you can get that gunk out.” He asked what I was talking about. I said, “An expectorant is a type of medicine, read the bottle of whatever you buy and buy one that says it has an expectorant in it.”
That night after we both got home from home I asked him if I could see the medicine that he was taking. He pulled a bunch of ripped up little packages out of his lunch box. He had been buying them at a 7-11 place and taking them once a day. However, he was taking something with expectorant…just not enough doses in a day. I asked when he last took some and he said “this morning at 8 a.m.” to which I said, “you need to take it more than once a day!”
A few hours went by and then he said, “Honey can you go to the store and buy me some more medicine? …oh and make sure you get the stuff with extract in it.”
You don’t know how bad I wanted to say, “Extract?…do you want vanilla or another flavor?”
Instead I am writing about it.
I’m in my office with the sun streaming in over my left shoulder. I have cold iced coffee and I’m feeling calm. We’re on round two and last night was day ten. I don’t much talk about the mumbo jumbo of it all and this time around I’m rather calm and passive. I’ve finally come to terms with the idea that what will be will be. Things at work feel shakey and there’s been a lot of change and departure, and that always is cause for unease. But again, what will be will be. I don’t know how it is that I’m handling these things with a sense of stresslessness instead of restlessness…except to say that I’ve been through far worse in my life and this feels little, small..compared.
I have an assignment due on Monday that I’ve been thinking of starting all week. It’s like a nagging hangnail…I need to just rip it.
Everything else is quiet. Truly and internally. I feel quiet. I rarely feel like writing here anymore. My creative outlets are sapped by being in school. I know from past experiences that they come and go and while they are on vacation I haven’t worried about maintaining here. There’s not much to report. Life is good. It’s calm and sweet and smooth. I’ve been reading a lot and planning to sit down and write about what I’m reading but it never feels pressing and so my to do list on those types of things grows.
The kid is good, the dog is good, the husband is good. It’s all good.
