I’m ok
Recently I started to wonder if somehow I’m a bad parent because it no longer bother’s me to see Keith leave for home. I no longer feel guilt about the divorce the way I used to. I rather like the arrangement. It occurred to me that…when I was 19 my mother kicked me out of the house telling my father I left to marry a black man. (yup true story)
During that time I learned to adjust to having no family. In one fell swoop my parents were gone, my siblings were gone and within 2 months I was driving to Dallas away from PA to start a new life with someone I barely knew. Somehow getting adjusted comes naturally to me. Horrible things happen, plans get changed without your consent….you either die or you adjust. I’m more adept at adjusting than most people. I have gotten to a place where I look around at my life…and I’m glad I adjusted instead of falling into depression and becoming miserable.
I am happy with my life as is. As it is right now. I didn’t choose all of it’s facets, but I have adjusted to them. I have managed somehow to go on despite bad times. I have managed to build and re-build my life several times. Most people never know these pitfalls in life. I’m not saying I’m somehow above anyone. I just have finally found a place where I’m aware of who I am and am truly ok with it.
I am so glad that you are strong enough to adjust too.
Life has certainly challenged us both, but we seem to come out ahead, so yay for us!
The sooner we let go of what we think we should be the sooner we become what we are meant to be. Basically society surrounds us with what we should be doing and how we should be responding in order to be happy - the sooner we say bull$hit to all of that and follow our heart (in a responsible way of course) the happier we will be. You are a great mom, a wonderful wife and you are enjoying your life. Good for you.