shishnit.org

One part of me just wants to tell you everything
One part just needs the quiet
And if I’m lonely here, I’m lonely here
And on the telephone
You offer reassurance

I will not take these things for granted

How can I hold the part of me that only you can carry
It needs a strength I haven’t found
But if its frightening, Ill bear the cold
And on the telephone
You offer warm asylum

I’m listening
Flowers in the garden
Laughter in the hall
Children in the park
I will not take these things for granted
Anymore

To crawl inside the wire and feel something near me
To feel this accepting
That it is lonely here, but not alone
And on the telephone
You offer visions dancing

I’m listening
Music in the bedroom
Laughter in the hall
Dive into the ocean
Singing by the fire
Running through the forest
And standing in the wind
In rolling canyons

I will not take these things for granted 

Toad the Wet Sprocket 

E. Edward Grey: [Mr. Grey is prescribing Lee’s dinner] One scoop of creamed potatoes. A slice of butter. Four peas. And as much ice cream as you’d like to eat. 

Fourteen years
Thirty minutes
Fifteen seconds I’ve
Held this grudge

Eleven songs
Four full journals
Thoughts of punishment
I’ve expended

Not in contact
Not a letter
Such communication
Telepathic
You’ve been vilified
Used as fodder
You deserve a piece
Of every record

But who’s it hurting now?
Who’s the one that’s stuck?
Who’s it torturing now
With an antique knot in her stomach?

I want to be big and let go
Of this grudge that’s grown old
All this time I’ve not known
How to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
Clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of us

Like an abandoned house
Dusty covered
Furniture
Still intact
If I visit it now
Will I simply re-live it
Somehow gratuitous

But who’s still aching now?
Who’s tired of her own voice?
Who is it weighing down
With no gift from time of said healing

I want to be big and let go
Of this grudge that’s grown old
All this time I’ve not known
How to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
Clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of us

Maybe as I cut the cord
Veils will lift from my eyes
Maybe as I lay this to rest
Dead weight off my shoulders will rise

Here I sit
Much determined
Ever ill-equipped
To draw this curtain
How this has entertained
Validated
And has served me well
Ever the victim

But who’s done whining now?
Who’s ready to put down
This load I’ve carried longer than I had cared to remember

I want to be big and let go
Of this grudge that’s grown old
For the life of me I’ve not known
How to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
Clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of us. 

Alanis Morissette

This article is quite interesting. Could you have sex with your husband or wife every single day for 30 days? What might you learn from it? I can tell you that you would learn something for sure. I haven’t tried this challenge but it reminds me of the infertility gig. It’s trying and it teaches you alot about yourself and your spouse. I think this would too. Couples that don’t fuck don’t stay together. I truly believe that. And I mean to use the word “fuck”. I think it’s important to make love, cuddle, spoon, kiss, hug, and FUCK.

I’ll go wash my typing fingers with soap now.

I’m not often reminded of why smalltowns suck, but when I am I am again grateful that I no longer live in one.  Everyone in a small town must either

a. cause problems for others

b. snoop into other peoples business

or

c. wreak havoc

I don’t really want to explain except to say that I feel that I am an adult and need no one’s permission to do as I choose in my life.  People in smalltowns think they have a right to butt into your business.

I barely speak to my family as it is.  Why? Because for the most part they do not know me.  They haven’t coincided or been a part of my life in any real way for a very long time.  I choose to keep it that way.  I prefer it that way.  I am again reminded of why.

While nothing life threatening happened it is again a reminder that I prefer to live where I live, in a world where people are not smalltown backwards.