shishnit.org

Today is March 7^th and it’s the first time I’ve thought to write anything in my blog.  Things have been crazy lately and my stress levels are through the roof.  I used to rely on writing about all of it to get through it.  I’ve now found some sort of coping mechanism that allows me to skip the writing it out part.  I don’t know if that allows me to work through the issues I’m currently coping with the same way, but I think this has come about because I am in school and am not afforded the same abundance of time that I used to once have.  I hang onto my blog because I have some innate fear that as soon as I let go, I will desperately be seeking writing solace. 

I’m at work and some of my software systems have tanked and/or are running slow so I’m not the normal Marketing Analyst that I would be because I can’t compare digits if I can’t get the numbers to start with.  It blows.  I’m used to being so organized about how I run my day and now here I am aggravated because I can’t move forward with my day as per normal.Things at home are trying, stressful and trying.  I have always avoided trashing my marriage in times of grief and marital strife.  I used to do it all the time without a thought with my ex-husband but I just can’t bring myself to do it now, even though it would temporarily feel good sometimes.  Rick barely glances at my blog, but for some unexplainable reason I feel protective of this marriage.  I honor it when I didn’t the last.  Go figure.

The other night I went to the bookstore and was reading through a fiction novel and came across this… “It’s the only explanation.  She played you like a fish.  I’m sorry, honey, but the fact is we sometimes fall in love with unsuitable people. Which is why Cupid carries a bow and arrows and not a clipboard with a stack of personality tests.”  “The Book of Air and Shadows (page 155) – Michael Gruber.I read that passage while flipping through the book and was so taken with it that I bought the book based on those few lines.  It is when a book touches you and makes you realize something without trying, that reading is truly a wonderful thing.  I am reading the rest of it right now.  Quite good so far.  Along the lines of Divinci Code minus religion and instead with a large dose of booklover types of details.