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April, 2008

  1. the fence went left

    April 29, 2008 by shishnit

    A section of the fence fell down today and it kinda sorta rained a little bit, I think.  And I found another song that made my toes curl.  I’m a music junkie lately.  Even more so than “reading” I am lost in melody.

    YOU AND ME

    I won’t tell anybody
    I swear to keep it a secret
    You and me
    We can be alone
    Walking through a world of our own

    I don’t care what they say but
    I don’t want to hear their opinions
    You and me
    We can be alone
    Walking through a world of our own

    Don’t think it’s only silly
    If I go you’re gonna miss me
    You and me
    We can be alone
    Walking through a world of our own
    Walking through a world of our own

    Jesse Harris


  2. we are moved

    April 27, 2008 by shishnit

    we are finally moved.  i took the entire week off and we moved.  i’m pretty much done except for the new libary/office room and i can’t find my camera cord to upload my photos.  i’m happy, not very well rested after vacation but happy.  very very happy.  i have much to be thankful for. 

    life always doles out blessings, even when we think we’ve surely been robbed – me


  3. Matthew’s 1!

    April 27, 2008 by shishnit

    Yesterday was Matthew’s birthday. He’s 1 already. If he could understand I would thank him so so much for being patient with me and my personal issues long enough to allow me to grow to love him without measure. He’s the sweetest boy ever and I’m one lucky Aunt to have him. He still smells like little baby…so precious.

     Matthew's 1st Birthday


  4. you’re the cocaine

    April 15, 2008 by shishnit

    Well I broke, I wrote a song
    About our love, and how its strong
    How your kisses keep me warm.
    And even when I make you cry,
    I’ll still sing you lullabies.
    Make those grey clouds bright blue skies.
    Because you’re the cocaine in my veins.

    This is something I regret
    Not confessing how I felt,
    How my heart beats quicker still.
    So melt your body into mine,
    Become as one over time,
    Lord shake her bones and make her mine.
    Because you’re the cocaine in my veins.

    And darlin the dirt beneath your feet,
    And the scars that line your knees,
    Are what keep me moving on, are what keep me moving on.
    When broken down out on the streets,
    And not a sign that I can see
    You’re the compass that I need.

    You’re the cocaine inside my blood stream
    You’re the bright light, the constant moon beam
    You’re the north wind that will carry me home.

    You’re the woman I’ve been looking for
    Because you’re the cocaine in my veins

    - Joshua James


  5. oh boy! a poker room!

    April 13, 2008 by shishnit

    It’s nearly 6 a.m. and I’m wide awake.  I haven’t done this in forever.  I’m wired because of the last few stressful days.  But oddly I don’t want to talk about the house.  I want to talk about something I don’t think I’ve ever talked about.

    My brother in law Doug.  He is Rick’s half brother from the same father, different mother. Doug and I met the same exact night I met Rick.  In fact it was Doug’s then girlfriend who introduced me to Rick but yet it was a joint effort because Doug went and got Rick from where he was to bring him to where I was.

    Doug is a notorious smart ass and so am I and so he and I have always had a sort of love/hate relationship.  We love to hate each other.  We consistently try to outdo each other with the insults etc.  Tonight Rick and I went to visit Doug. I normally allow Rick to have his “man” time with his brother Doug.  Doug has lived less than five minutes away form Rick and I for the last 5 years.  While I don’t know Doug’s precise age, I do know he’s at least 12 years older than Rick, perhaps more.  I’m sorta rambling here, but tonight I realized that in my heart of hearts I really LIKE Doug and like him a lot in fact.  I love to verbally spar with him and I especially love the fact that he says what he truly means and means what he always says.  I can really dig a person who does that.  And he really doesn’t give a shit what anyone thinks about him or how he chooses to live.I think I’ve always truly liked Doug but his personality mixed with mine creates a humorous back and forth sparing that is always hilarious.  I rarely speak about him because I tend to veer away from speaking about Rick’s family out of respect.  I have always envied him his relationships with his brother’s.  They do not always make sense but they always look out for each other and they’ve always been close.  When I met Rick I gained all of these other zany boys in some way too.  In the last 5 years I have grown quite used to them and have grown to appreciate them on a different level.  I’m no longer envious of Rick’s luck and more grateful for my own.  

    Tonight, all in one evening, Rick’s twin brother Randy and his family came to visit and I quite enjoyed shoving my nose into baby Matthews neck and sniffing in his baby glorious smell while he giggled and allowed me to kiss his chubby cheeks endlessly.  I then went with Rick to visit his brother Doug and sat with them while they rambled on about poker, bills, life, etc.  I’ve always enjoyed any time that I’ve gone to visit Doug and tonight for the first time I realized entirely a piece of the puzzle.  Doug reminds me of my own father in so many ways.  My father was outspoken, zany, fun and also didn’t give a shit what people thought of him.  But he too was just a good guy.For the first time ever I asked Doug for his email address so I could shoot over some house pictures for him to see.  When we lived in the apartment complex there was never any parking and Doug would complain about coming to visit us because of this fact. 

    So when I sent my email I said “we have tons of parking space too!”  I got a return email from him saying

    …it looks nice    I SEE IT GOT A POKER ROOM  HEEHAWS

    This is his reference to our screened patio at the back of the house.  Doug has one on his house and it’s the notorious poker room everyone goes to.  I can only hope that Rick will have many hours of rowdy poker playing fun with his brother’s in our new home.I suppose I just wanted to state for the record, I love Rick’s family and I’m glad they let me.  I had a moment of clarity tonight when I realized we spent a majority of the evening with his brother’s separately and I had a great time being a part of family.  The line between what is his and what is mine has completely blurred and it feels wonderful. We also had another encounter on Thursday night with his nephew Sean and his girlfriend Kelli.  Sean is now 18.  Sean was just 13 when I first met him. 

    I’ve always joked with Doug that Rick is not allowed around him without my permission because he’s trouble and a bad influence…lol…….but tonight…after much realization…I responded to his email as follows. Yes it has a poker room and yes he’s allowed to invite you over to play.  I can close the door on y’all.  :-)


    Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

    Doug jr., Doug and Sean showing up for our wedding two years ago.  Doug never dresses up so this was me grabbing the camera because Doug and his son bought matching suits for the wedding.  It was a great moment.  Sean changed clothes after he arrived.  So this is my nephew, my brother in law and my other nephew.

    Rick has two sisters too.  One lives in Illinois in Rick’s hometown and the other just moved with our 3 nephews including Sean, to Ohio recently.  We have 5 nephews (including baby Matthew) on Rick’s side of the family and 2 nieces on mine.   Rick also has another half brother who lives in Orlando.  I’m lucky.  But don’t tell Doug that I actually “love” him.  Â