shishnit.org

When you get married and divorced there is one thing that man has given you that he cannot take back.  His last name.  The day I got divorced my ex-husbands attorney asked me if I didn’t want to change my name.  My maiden name is extremely long and complicated and hellacious and no I didn’t want to.  I wanted to keep that short 4 letter name I earned in a long arduous marriage that made me miserable.  

I stood my ground and stated, “Your honor, can you please remind “his” attorney that he is not “my” attorney.  Thank you.”

The judge threw down the gavel…at least this is what I recall…and that was that.  I had the name for 12 years and I kept it.  Why I felt victorious had nothing to do with the name, a name I am still required to type into my work software systems because the company will change your “displayed” name but your user ID remains the same until I suppose you quit, get fired or die. 

Now that I’ve been remarried for exactly 2 years, 5 months, and 12 days or 894 days or 127 weeks, or 77,241,600 seconds and I still have to type my ex-husbands last name every single day several dozen times a day. I would really like to not have to do that.  I have no idea who to complain to in such a large corporation.

I took the last few weeks off to concentrate on moving.  My last class ended on 4-14    and my next one starts on 5-06.  Yes, tomorrow.  It’s been a much needed and nice break and would explain my largely absent entries on my blog.  I have not wanted to look at or be at a computer much at all.  Save for the constant downloading of new music from Itunes.  

Tomorrow starts an Astrology course and then a week later I am doubled up also taking a Mythology course.  All these ‘ology courses in my final months of college.  Whew, I can’t wait to finish this program.  After these two courses and somewhat overlapped is Intro to Film Studies.  For some reason I can’t wait to get to that one.  I also have a Nutrition course and a Creative writing course before I’m done.  It’s going to go by so fast, I just know it.

We are still not finished with the house and for some reason I think it’ll be another six months before I’m at a place where I am feeling done.  We are close though.  I just have so many ideas now that I can paint walls and truly invest my creativity to a home again.  I want to paint my kitchen with chalkboard paint so I can write on my walls and constantly change my words there.  I am craving creativity again in my life in big doses; I think this explains the recent obsession with music again. 

We did manage to paint our bedroom and the only thing that’s largely in there is our bed and mentally that is so soothing, I love it.  The room is calm and relaxes me.  I’m happy with how it turned out.  

My latest fave song obsession is as follows:

Busted Heart

Follow me
To the shipwreck shores of a dark and strange country
I was born
A stranger thinking out loud in a foreign tongue
I was out of place
I was looking all around just a’trying to find a friendly face
But they’re all gone

Did you ever think
Did you ever think, think
A lotta people everyday who will surely drown
Did you ever think
Did you ever think, think
Who left me all alone in this town?

And a busted heart is a welcome friend
And when that heart leaves, what will you do then?
And if I cry, is that a sin?

And the wisdom is a whisper
And I’m trying to understand
What I say, what I think, where I sleep, when I breathe
What I do with my hands

Bishop Allen

I am so music addicted, it’s like I need my daily fix.  I cruise iTunes like a creep on the street, around every curve and bend in the electronic road to find something that jacks my jill.  Tonight I found one to dedicate to the former man of my life, otherwise known as the ex.  This one sounds lighthearted….in the past I was ”pathologically addicted to what we call a “dick head”. 

I’m not much for dope or drink
And that’s thanks to Dr. Shrink
But one thing I can’t kick is
I can’t kick a man

I’m pathologically addicted
To what we call a “dick head”
Cheaters and liars seem to light my fire
And god, I gotta get clean

So I did, yeah, I did

I took a bath with a sociopath
I took a bath with a sociopath
And I’ll be sorry, but for now I’ll laugh about it
All night long

‘Cause I like a little coffee with my cream
I like a little dirty with my clean
And my baby’s really filthy
My baby’s really somethin’
And my baby can dysfunction

I took a bath with a sociopath
I took a bath with a sociopath
And I’ll be sorry, but for now I’ll laugh about it
All night long

‘Cause I like a little coffee with my cream
I like a little dirty with my clean
And my baby’s really filthy
My baby’s really somethin’
And my baby can dysfunction

I took a bath with a sociopath
I took a bath with a sociopath
And I’ll be sorry, but for now I’ll laugh about it
All night long

-Anya Marina