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I have a friend who I will refer to for this blog post as Dee.  Dee and I have worked together at the University for several years.  Dee is going back to Phoenix to be closer to her family.  Yesterday was her last day.  She and I and another co-worker decided to go out to lunch and since we were close to my new house I offered to give her a tour before she moves away forever.

I have to provide a piece of information about Dee.  She is a black woman.  This is not who she is for me but rather a simple fact.  

Upon entering my house, Chloe freaked out and barked at her.  Because that’s what Chloe does with anyone that is not Rick, Keith or I.  She’s very territorial and overly protective of me. 

We walked around the house and she said a few kind things.  She then stated, “This is great for you and Rick but for my family of 5 we could never afford a house in St Petersburg.”  This is not true.  I have a friend who has 4 kids and a family of 6 who owns a home in St Petersburg and is in the same economic stratus as Dee.  (why do people convince themselves they cannot do something simply because they have not ever achieved it as of yet?)

Then when we left the house and went back to the car where another co-worker K was, (he’s Puerto Rican and decided not to come into my house, gave no excuse), Dee stated, “Kristy needs to bring more black people to her house because her dog is racist and doesn’t like me or else she needs to let that dog look into the mirror so she can see that she’s black too!”

When she said this I laughed and stated the obvious (at least to me) “Chloe doesn’t like anyone who isn’t Rick, me or Keith”.  As it sunk in….I didn’t find this exchange to be funny.  I have been analyzing this and over analyzing this exchange and the course of events ever since.  Was she simply trying to be funny? 

I don’t consider myself racist at all.  I do not judge people for ethnic, cultural or other reasons.  And yet this exchange seemed like the reverse of racism. Is this some odd technique or something whereby a black person says something derogatory to point out that I am not one of them?  I’m just not feeling it or understanding it.

The other co-worker who remained in the car has a black g.f. He didn’t say anything to her commentary.    He didn’t laugh.  He didn’t comment.  I could not see his face because he was in the back of my car.  He had no response however.

Upon returning to the workplace after going to a nice Thai restaurant and having lunch together, she stated to all within hearing “Kristy’s dog is racist!” Because we were at work I simply walked away.

The notion that a dog is racist is ridicules.  The notion that this comment is funny is too.

I have to ask myself…did this woman see what I have achieved in the form of my new home and attribute it to my being white?

I cannot speak for her…I can only say that I will never understand using any attribute about yourself as an excuse for why you are not successful. I don’t even know if that’s what this is about for her.  I can only speculate.  I know many people of other ethnicity’s that are far more successful than I.  Indian doctors, Chinese dentist….perhaps my being white means I can’t practice medicine now?  

I know someone will tell me I do not understand the plight of the black man….and I don’t.  I just can’t quite think that this girl’s comments yesterday were funny or appropriate.  Is this the part whereby if you’re black it’s ok to call each other the n word or make reference to race relations to white people and yet if you are white you are supposed to simply stand by and show tolerance?

I wanted to say something but also wanted to be respectful.  I was honestly at a loss as to how to properly say it without turning the entire thing into a racial line in the sand.  I’m not racist….and neither is my dog for crying out loud.

I commented about this to Rick and he simply stated, “That’s crap…you’d never go to her house and point out that she had a white dog…because you would never even think on those terms.”

This begs the question…do black people make everything a color issue because they deal with racism so much that they actually end up making it more of an issue?

Trust that I’m simply trying to understand….something that I don’t.