October 16, 2008 by shishnit
When I began writing poetry years ago a friend of mine told me to remove the “and”, “but”, “because” and “then’s” from my poetry. It works. However I then wrote him a poem something like this just because.
and because
he said
but wait
it works
i said
but because then
he’s right
I will never admit it
because then what?
and but then….
I would be wrong
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October 14, 2008 by shishnit
For years I lived without any semblance of a sister. It seems as though as soon as I got divorced things changed. It wasn’t that anyone disliked the ex, it was more that he was the placeholder for excuses. Once that placeholder was removed so were the unexplained excuses.
Today I had an email exchange with my older sister Tracy, my only sister Tracy. These small things mean the world to me because I lived in a world that was without her for a very very long time.
From: Kristy  [mailto:Kristy.@]
Sent: Mon 10/13/2008 12:24 PM
To: Â Tracy
Subject: My Graduation will be:
June 6th, 2009
 However, I’m done with classes on Feb 16, 2009.Â
 I believe June 6th is Pap’s birthday….
From: Â Tracy [mailto:tracy.@]
Sent: Monday, October 13, 2008 12:30 PM
To: Kristy
Subject: RE: My Graduation will be:
 Congrats!! What type of degree are you graduating with? I’m off today. I was so dizzy last night – it was causing me to be nauses and to vomit. Ugh!! I feel a little better now.
From: Kristy  [mailto:Kristy@]
Sent: Mon 10/13/2008 12:43 PM
To: Â Tracy
Subject: RE: My Graduation will be:
Business Management. Are you pregnant?
From: Â Tracy [mailto:tracy@]
Sent: Monday, October 13, 2008 3:50 PM
To: Kristy
Subject: RE: My Graduation will be:
 It could be a sign of menopause too!!
From: Kristy  [mailto:Kristy.@]
Sent: Mon 10/13/2008 3:50 PM
To: Â Tracy
Subject: RE: My Graduation will be:
Shut the f*** up!!!!
From: Â Tracy [mailto:tracy@]
Sent: Monday, October 13, 2008 3:56 PM
To: Kristy
Subject: RE: My Graduation will be:
haha
Â
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October 11, 2008 by shishnit
I had towrite two journal observation posts for my Creative writing class utilizing observations of sight, sound, taste, touch and smell. We were given our choice of prompts. I did these two.Â
Journal Entry #1 Describe a coffee mug Â
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My coffee mug is blue; at least it is in the place where the color has not been rubbed clean off. The circular opening where my thumb fits into the loop, a near perfect fit, is raw. Where the blue used to be is now a color hard to describe, it’s a place no longer blue, a place that is simply time worn, smoothness in the place of color.Â
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I choose this imperfect mug each and every time, somehow we connect. Someone else might never choose it on a shelf standing like a soldier in line with the others. The other’s who are my mug’s neighbors standing proudly in their upright perfection. My weak mug always leans against the sidewall for support. It is wobbly but always reports for duty.Â
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This cup has gone to war with me over the past year, as I fight the aftermath of insomnia each morning. I stay up late worried about what the rough edge of divorce has done to my blue eyed son. He made me this mug, when he was too little to know about the fracture that was to come. Bright eyed and full of trust he gave it to me.Â
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In times of frustration and regrettable guilt, I have ironically rubbed the same shade blue of his trusting eyes away from his gift. My rubbing serving to sooth a raw ache within, the kind that only loss can cause. My mug is heavy, making a melodic thwacking sound on the table when it is full of coffee. The sides of my cup are hot against my palms in the chilly mornings. The rim is sturdy between my lips as I slurp my sweet coffee from my mug. My mug is a perfect fit, while everything changes, it remains.Â
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Journal Entry #2 Describe voices down a hallÂ
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I am warm. They are cold. They scatter across the walls like the jacks I keep in my toy box. They are a constant splattering of noise, sudden then just as suddenly silent. They should be hushed, singing a lullaby perhaps. They should be intellectual discussing a newspaper headline, with the interruptions of a breath as a cigarette is lit between the lilts of their melodic sing song.Â
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There is a manly one, and there is the tinkling of a feminine one dancing with it. It’s an agitated dance, a sometimes stepping on the other’s toes dance. It’s growing louder and angrier, coming towards me down the hall like heavy footed shoes. This one is big, like the monsters that hide under my bed. It’s coming closer and closer. But wait, the female one is traveling alongside with an insistence, a halting voice, a rush like high heel shoes clattering along a sidewalk fast. The dominant strong one goes silent, and retreats, getting quieter, and a hushed whispering again occurs.Â
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The deep one and the lilting one are hushing and whispering and it is like the rain at my window when I forget to latch it like I am so often told by the authoritative one. Hushing and whispering…a hushing and a whisper… They are still down there and yet I am falling asleep, because they are a back and forth thrum of a heartbeat, consistent yet calm. I am dozing off; they seem to be singing me to sleep now. I am falling and just as I am nodding off, the deep voice is loud and the lilting one screams out a frightening sound. So shrill it could break glass, if my window had been dutifully closed.Â
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Why does Daddy always yell at Mommy so loud?Â
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October 10, 2008 by shishnit
There are generally two things I never speak about. Religion and politics. Usually not because I’m afraid I will offend someone but rather because I’m afraid they’ll give their opinion and then I’ll have to work twice as hard to remember I like them despite their having such a crappy opinion.Â
Over the course of the last week I’ve talked to my ex-husband more than I would prefer. He advised me as part of Keith’s punishment he was giving ten Biblical questions about honoring your parents and Keith had to find the passages that provided the answers from the Bible and list them. I found this to be quite hilarious from a man who say’s he’s Christian but is driving around without a driver’s license and also has just started a 2 year stint on probation for writing another bad check. Would Jesus do that?Â
Most often in my life I have found that those that speak about things are the most uneducated about what they say they believe in. They will say they are a certain faith and yet can’t answer simple questions about it. They might say they are voting for McCain yet can’t tell me why. What i love the most are the fools that have recently told me they love Palin and yet its because, “she’s so cute about things!”. Cute….in government? This matters? And if so…why? Nevermind, I don’t want to know.
Because of my odd work schedule I saw the debate late however here are my jotted notes. I’m voting for Obama..but I can tell you exactly why and it has nothing to do with Jesus because I strongly believe Obama is Muslim in faith but I don’t care because I’m neither racist nor religion’ist.
Obama/McCain Notes from Oct 7th Presidential Debate Notes
1.      Why does McCain say that other countries don’t like us?a.      Whose fault is that if it is indeed true…perhaps George Bushes?
2.      McCain stated that we laid a trillion dollar debt to young Americans
a.      But what are we doing to fix it?
3.      Why do we owe a billion dollars to China?
a.      And why do we allow Wal mart to sell 95% of their products from China
                                                              i.     BTW did you know that Wal Mart donates over $6 billion a year to the Republican party…they do. Walmart you suck!
1.      This is why you need to stop spending your American money on their products.
4.      McCain says he will restore our Economy
a.      How?
5.      Why did he dis Tom Brokaw at the beginning? Grow up McCain.
6.      McCain says we don’t have trust in our institutions
a.      Whose fault is that?
7.      Barack notices that the treasury secretary can’t only help people on the top.
a.      His plan includes a tax cut to 95% of Americans.
8.      Dear McCain suspending your campaign for 1 week does not solve the Economic problem
a.      Fannie & Freddie have been an issue for a long time, don’t try to shift the blame to Obama for taking campaign money
b.     Obama did point out; “we need leadership from Washingtonâ€
                                                              i.     Meaning – don’t let the issue get worse and then point fingers.
9.      McCain says American workers are the best in the world.
a.      Then why do we give tax cuts to companies who out source?
And what are we doing to stop this?
10.  Obama points out that when Bush came into office we had surplus, our debt was 5 trillion it is now over 10 trillion.
a.      In the last 8 years we’ve had the biggest increase in deficient spending, which McCain voted on 4 out of 5 of Bush budgets.
b.     Obama wants to reform Healthcare
c.      We need a better energy plan
d.     Obama proposes a net spending cut, so that it will work out for the American people
                                                              i.     While putting an end to special interest groups and lobbyist’s.
11.  McCain claims he is a reformer
a.      No specific issues!!
b.     He states that Obama has never taken on his leaders
                                                              i.     Why do we support throwing people under the bus??
c.      McCain states Obama is the most liberal and proposes ear marks and voted on over a billion dollars
                                                              i.     Ummmm I’m sorry, but can you share Sarah Palin’s record with the crowd, since she is your running mate??
                                                            ii.     His solution, drilling off shore or as Palin states, “drill baby drill.â€
This from people who don’t live where drill baby drill has consequences.
12.  What are your priorities
a.      McCain
                                                              i.     Healthcare, Energy Policies, Entitlement Reform (Social Security and Medicare)
1.      McCain states he can work on all 3 at once.
2.      He admits that retirerees will not receive the same benefits as before.
3.      He wants to create nuclear power plants which will create jobs.
a.      But what about my job today, what if I do not want to work in a nuclear plant? Nuclear plants are safe? Ha!!  What other solutions can you provide?
b.     Obama
                                                              i.     Energy
1.      Obama notes the gas prices and the strain on our family budgets. Countries like Iran are benefiting from our gas needs
2.      He calls for an investment of 10 billion dollars to free our dependency on foreign oil.
                                                            ii.     McCains Healthcare plans
1.      Bad for our families
                                                           iii.     Education          Â
1.      Looking at our tax revenues.
2.      McCain looks at taxes and how he can pay big companies.
13.  McCain states programs we have to eliminate
a.      Defense Spending
b.     Earmarks eliminating projects
                                                              i.     Even the good ones
                                                            ii.     Because we the Americans have to expect it
                                                           iii.     We will not cut veterans programs, he says (because I guess everyone is a vet, or is it just because he is himself??) What about my son’s education and college fund?
14.  Obama reminds us
a.      That when our economy was in trouble, Bush asked us to go shopping
                                                              i.     I’m sure many went to Wal-Mart…..But don’t worry Bush & McCain voters, that money went right back to the Republican Party. Your money was well spent.
b.     Obama recognizes how the young people want to serve this country and he is looking at doubling the peace corp.
15.  How will Obama decrease debts & spending?
a.      Washington needs to show that we have good habits, in spending and revenue.
                                                              i.     McCain talks about earmarks and tax cuts he fails to mention that CEO’s will receive the majority of the tax cut.
16.  How will McCain decrease debts & spending?
a.      He blames Obama for wanting to raise taxes
                                                              i.     He fails to mention that it is only to 5% of Americans earning the most
                                                            ii.     McCain wants to leave tax levels at where it is.
                                                           iii.     He wants to double our tax credits on refunds.
17.  Unfunded obligations to Social Security & Healthcare
a.      Would you give Congress a date for 2 years
                                                              i.     Obama says we will have to take on entitlements. We can’t solve SS and Medicare if we do not solve our Economy.
                                                            ii.     Obama’s tax plan: A tax cut to 95% if you make less than 250,000 your taxes will decrease.
                                                           iii.     Only a low percentage makes more than $250,000.
                                                          iv.     Small business will receive a tax credit so that they can afford Healthcare plans.
                                                            v.     McCain wants CEO to receive tax cuts.
                                                          vi.     Obama s plan will help our healthcare plan.
b.     McCain states Social Security is easy to solve
                                                              i.     He gives no specifics. Easy? How McCain then how?
c.      McCain states Medicare is a little tougher
                                                              i.     Again no specifics. (Or maybe he was speaking Alaskan b/c yo no hablo Alaskan, sorry.)
18.  McCain on moving fast on Environment issues
a.      He states we can move forward to have hybrid cars etc. Also, creating jobs.
                                                              i.     He did not answer the question on how fast they would move
1.      Is it really important to McCain or the Republican Party?
19.  Obama on moving fast ….same question
a.      Understand that we need to make investments in wind, solar and nuclear power.
b.     Obama states McCain voted against alternative fuel 23 times while being in the senate for 26 years.
c.      Obama states we need alternatives and we need to export energy to outside countries like China.
20.  Should we fund a Manhattan like project that develops a nuclear bomb to create energy or 100 garages?
a.      McCain, yes, we should and as it grows turnover to a private sector.
b.     McCain says we need oil drilling.
                                                              i.     But let it be said this will raise fossil fuel which will affect global warning.
21.  Selling Healthcare coverage? Should it be treated as a community?
a.      Obama, it’s breaking family budgets. Premiums have doubled in the last 2 years. And in the last year it has increased.
b.     If you have Obama, keep your plan and your choice Dr. They will work with employers to lower premiums.
c.      If you do not have Healthcare Insurance you can buy it with no pre-medical conditions.
                                                              i.     McCain will tax your employer healthcare benefits.
d.     McCain bashes Obama for using the term government. McCain states he will give us a $5000 tax credit to buy our insurance.
                                                              i.     However, where is that money going to come from?
1.      Are we going to cut education budget or some earmark so that Joe Six-pack can get a $5000 tax credit.
a.      McCain voted against children’s healthcare
22.  Foreign Policy
a.      Economic Stress-How can USA be seen as a peace maker
                                                              i.     His breakdown, Obama doesn’t understand
1.      We don’t have time for on the job training
b.     Obama-Why is Osama Bin Laden continue to set up camps and we have done nothing to stop it.
c.      We have spent too much money on this war.
d.     We spend 10 million dollars a month in Iraq.
e.     We need that money in the USA.
f.       We do not have the resources or the allies to support the USA.
23.  McCain Doctrine
a.      We cannot set a date for withdrawal. We have too much at stake. He will bring the troops home with victory and honor and not defeat. The security of our soldier’s right before our nation’s security.
                                                              i.     But what victory have we had in the last 8 years? And what do we think we will have?
24.  Obama Doctrine
a.      We have moral issues at stake. When genocide is happing we need to intervene where possible.
b.     We cannot be everywhere all the time.
c.      Example Darfur. We could provide support but we would have to mobilize the county and lead.
25.  Obama says we need to focus on Pakistan.
26.  McCain says that we (General Patraies) need to speak softly and carry a big stick.
27.  Obama says he did call for the invasion of Pakistan.
a.      He said that if Pakistan is unable to take down Bin Laden then we will.
b.     Points out how McCain said “bomb bomb bomb Iranâ€.
                                                              i.     McCain says that the above quote was a joke. Will you tell those jerks if you become President I wonder.
                                                            ii.     McCain says he will get Osama Bin Laden.
1.      Again, no specifics as to how!!!
28.  Developments on Afghanistan
a.      “We are failing in Afghanistan, we need an acceptable dictatorâ€
                                                              i.     Obama says, “We need Iraq to take more responsibility and take troops to Afghanistan.â€
                                                            ii.     McCain says, “It’s the same strategy, double the size of the Afgan Army and work with the Pakistani.â€
29.  How can we apply pressure to Russia without having a cold war?
a.      McCain, “there behavior is unhealthy.â€
                                                              i.     McCain should just sent Palin over there since they are neighbors. =)
30.  In Closing
a.      When we decided to not talk to Iran. The outcome:
                                                              i.     We noticed that Iran went to 0 centra-fusions to development nuclear bombs to 4000.
                                                            ii.     North Korea quadrupled
1.      Thanks to George Bush for ignoring them.
31.  What don’t you know and how will you learn it?
a.      Obama-Michelle could give you a much longer list.
                                                              i.     We know it’s not the challenges you expect but the challenges that you do not, that consume your time.
                                                            ii.     Are we going to pass on the American Dream?
1.      Do we have the money to send our children to college?
2.      We need fundamental change.
3.      We need the courage to move into the right direction.
b.     McCain-Both here at home and abroad.
                                                              i.     There are challenges amongst the world.
                                                            ii.     Some Americans won’t be able to point it out on the map.
                                                           iii.     I believe in this country.
                                                          iv.     McCain says, I put my country first, give me another chance.
1.      (My thoughts….You never get a 2nd chance to give a 1st impression)
a.      Sorry McCain, your 1st impression sucked.  Presidents either make it happen or they don’t, you never get a do-over.
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Category world | Tags: | 1 Comment
October 8, 2008 by shishnit
You never know what you have until you consider for hours what life might be like without it. I can’t quite shake the feeling of unease and yet I feel like life is a beautiful blue lately just because I escaped my worst nightmare unscathed.Â
Missing
There is no poster
No crowd gathered to search
You are still safe in the frame on my desk
But now you are also
the lump in my throat
I am gaining no oxygenMy heart has lurched
I keep looking and looking left
Some things just not right
Where are you?Will you come home alone?
Are you all by yourself?
That ringing in my head
Why is it?
Please…
Why not the phone?
I am your motherI didn’t bail
The proofs in the stretch marks
The one’s I earned
With your father’s help
The silence is a thunderA storm I endure
Where did you go?
“He’ll come homeâ€
He sounds confident
But I can’t be so sure
Category keith, kidlet, life, poetical | Tags: | No Comments