I want to write about it, but I don’t even know where to begin. I will do my best.
Keith went to a friend’s house after school on Wednesday after school. His father knew exactly where he went and gave him permission to go.
His father called me on Thursday morning telling me that Keith never came home the night before. That he thought he did come home because the 3 dogs in their house were barking but that he never got up to check. That in the morning he was not home so he drove to the school to see if Keith had decided to just go straight to school. Keith never arrived at school. His father went into the school and advised them that he did not know where Keith was.Â
He then filed a missing person’s report at the police station.
He then drove to the friends house where Keith was suppsoed to be. No Keith.
He then called me and advised of everything above.
I panicked. I called the school, they promptly told me they didn’t know who I was. That was not a pretty conversation.
I then called the police and they also told me they didn’t know who I was and that I was not listed on the police report. The detective assigned to the missing person’s report refused to speak to me at all.
The school spent most of the day refusing to contact the girl’s parents (the girl for whom Keith was visiting) to tell that girl’s parents that she was in fact not in school and that we were searching for Keith.
For some unexplainable reason I truly believed that Keith would come home on his own that evening after school and so the waiting game began.
More than two dozen phone calls between his father and I seeking information from any of Keith’s friends, some of whom called and most of whom had no information other than Keith was with a certain girl (doh, same girl his father knew he was supposed to be with).
I did call the state police to confirm that there was indeed a APB out on Keith’s name as a missing child. Apparently they don’t take missing teenagers very seriously AT ALL. (be warned if you are the parent of a teenager)
More waiting.
More calling people to vent.
More waiting.
Around 8:45 p.m. I decided that if Keith did not return by 11 p.m. I was calling the news channels and seeking assistance from them. Because his father and I are divorced I ran itno a lot of people who wanted to give me flack about not knowing where my child was. How am I to know where he is when we have legal joint custody and same said child was in the custody of his father at the time that he went missing? Please do not jump on me when he wasn’t under my care. However, this happened all day long.
I asked my ex-husband repeatedly when the last time he spoke to Keith was and was told 6:30 p.m. I was told over and over again that he last spoke to him at 6:30 and that he had given him permission to go to this girls house and that Keith was good friends with this girl. This story was repeated and repeated so many times because I kept asking the same questions hoping to be told something that would help me find my son.
At 8:55 I called my ex again. He told me, “Keith just walked in, I’ll call you back.â€
Then Keith called me and my words were something like “I’m so angry at you right now..but I’m also so very happy that you are alive and well that I can’t even begin to tell you. I love you so much and felt so helpless. What is going on?â€
Keith then proceeded to tell me….
“I went to my friends house and from there we left with two girlfriends of her’s. We went to some guy’s house, some guy named Dave.  I got stranded there and couldn’t walk home so I called Dad at 8:30 and asked him for a ride home. He told me it was too late for him to come get me and that I had to find my own way home and he hung up. Then I’m stuck at this Dave guy’s house and I decide to go to bed and get up in the morning and go to school. Everyone slept in. Then I knew I was already in trouble with Dad so I just stayed there all day and came home tonight. I didn’t know there was a missing persons report or that anyone was looking for me.â€
Ok so Keith’s in trouble because he should have gone to school. But….
HIS FATHER WENT TO BED INSTEAD OF GOING TO GET HIM???? THEN HIS FATHER LEFT OUT THIS PIECE OF INFORMATION ALL DAY LONG WHILE I WORRIED ABOUT WHERE KEITH WAS AND WHAT MIGHT BE HAPPENING TO HIM??
I HATE THAT MAN.
The only other thing I have to say is that there is some wicked discrimination going on regarding divorced parents. I was prosecuted all day long from every authoritarian figure I spoke to while I desperately explained to them that I needed their help. They all jumped me for not knowing where my own child was. He wasn’t in my custody, he was with his father. I also had people tell me I had no right to information because I wasn’t on the missing persons report and yet I could not file my own report on my own child because a report already existed. They all prosecuted me and listened to the words of a liar. They all dimissed me and treated me like a third rate citizen not worthy of information about my own missing child. That alone is very scary.
Keith is grounded for skipping school and not calling anyone all day. But most importantly, he is safe even though his father bailed on him. In the big scheme of things that’s what matters. What kind of parent tells their child they can go out on a school night and then refuses to pick same said child up and bring them home? Â
I asked his father why he didn’t ground himself for lying to me and to the police and leaving out that part about Keith calling him and his not responding with a safe ride. Apparently I missed that part of the story and he didn’t lie to me. Oh no..surely it wasn’t HIS FAULT. I hate him.
And that is all I have to say. That and…if you have joint custody of a child make sure you keep a copy of your divorce paperwork and birth certificate so you can prove who you are because the entire world will try to deny your parental rights…because don’t you know, “Someone has to have custody and it can’t be both of youâ€. That line was repeated to me dozens of times.   Joint custody is joint custody.
Oh and if one more person called me Mrs. Ex’sLastName again I was going to scream. I’m not his wife..but I am still my son’s mother for fucks sake. And if you’re reading this Keith..next time your Dad refuses to give you a ride home tell him you’re calling your Mother.
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