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December, 2008

  1. Peace in 2009

    December 31, 2008 by shishnit

    When we purchased our house earlier this year I had to go back through old paperwork to find necessary paperwork for the mortgage company to examine with a telescope.  In doing that process I came up with a printed out page of my former 1001 things I wanted to achieve.  That old list can be found here.

    I wrote that list in 2006 and on the top for Financial was

    1.    Clean up credit report

    2.    Become debt current/free

    3.    Move up one level at work

    4.    Open a savings account for a rainy day

    5.    Open a Christmas Club account

    6.    Prepare a will

    7.    Buy a house

    8.    Pay off car

    9.    Get rid of truck and buy a new vehicle for Rick

    I achieved 1, 2, 3, 7 and 8.   When I pulled out this antique list I was amazed.  I even took it to my mortgage broker and showed him that I was achieving 1, 7 and 8 all in one shebang.  It felt amazing.  I’ve done a lot of the other things on that list but without even going back to the list.  Much of my wishes have changed and much of what is on that list seems silly to me now.  But those financial ones still seem quite important to me.   I need to work on 5, 6, and 9 now.

    While I didn’t look at that list it was somewhere in my subconciousness.  Last year my resolution was to “have more fun”.  I put a Mary Engelbreit poster print in my cubicle at work and looked at it all the time.  I also had a theme going on of Grattitude. I don’t think Grattitude is a one time for one year thing however so that’s not really a resolution for me, it’s a way of life.

    This year I have so much to be grateful for and yet as I peruse that old list from 2006 I realize that I still have things on there that I really need to do for myself.  However, there are some new things I would like to do.

    1.    Order prints of favorite photo’s and hang on wire/clip from Ikea

    2.    Organize hallway closet with pretty/funky accessories

    3.    Clean out library room and set up

    4.    Hang photos in living room FINALLY

    Those are small things.  Things that are perpetually on my list of things to do that I just need to DO and get done with them.

    I have many goals for the new year and they include

    1.    Work on career goals

    2.    Re-write resume before graduation

    3.    Find joy in what you do for work, do not settle

    I think this year will be a big year of changes.  I am still as of yet undecided about my education goals and desires.  I am on the fence so to speak, waiting for a clear message to surface. I am at a crossroads.  I would like to reach that crossroad and make the decision that is best for me. I am seeking solitude in an effort to find a peaceful resolution to my anxieties about the decisions I am facing soon.

    Next year I want to

    1.    Save 3 months worth of income

    2.    Pay down credit cards in increments to further improve credit score

    3.    Keep all bills current (as always)

    4.    Live with a less is more mentality.

    On the personal side of things I want to

    1.    Read more

    2.    Travel more

    3.    Stress less

    4.    Enjoy more

    5.    Simplify belongings, clean up house, declutter.  Give excess to charity.

    I think that overall what I am seeking is a stronger sense of balance and peace.  Peace being the biggest goal.  So next year in one word I want Peace.  Personal peace, financial peace, peace in my direction.  Peacefulness in my actions.

    Peace.

    This is my overall goal for 2009 and my wish for everyone that matters to me.  I wish you all PEACE in 2009.

    The new year always brings us what we want

    Simply by bringing us along-to see

    A calendar with every day uncrossed,

    A field of snow without a single footprint.

    –DANA GIOIA
     


  2. ethical concerns

    December 26, 2008 by shishnit

    I brought up an ethical concern at work and I might end up being the one that takes a hit for having done so. I wasn’t kind about my concern, and I was brutally honest as to why I was ethically concerned about an individual’s behavior.  It’s never pretty to have someone second guess your ethical nature and after I brought up the concern the person I confided in told the person I was ethically concerned about.  She threatened me with her power, I’m sure she did so in anger.

    Gee, I wonder why I was ethically concerned.

    Either way I have decided two things.

    If I don’t get stomped for speaking my mind, I am going to reward myself and allow myself to have that college graduation ring I was looking at.

    If I do get stomped I am going to reconsider my future plans extensively.

    I wish I could say that this connumdrum has me wishing I had kept my mouth shut, but it doesn’t.  Sometimes you have to stand up and voice your concerns, if for no other reason, so that something bad doesn’t happen…even if something bad eventually happens to you because you are unfairly punished for speaking up.

    Is there a nice way to say you find someone potentially un-ethical?  Is there?  And is there a nice way to state why you find a person un-ethical?  If there is, I sure can’t think of it.


  3. I registered for college graduation yesterday.

    December 23, 2008 by shishnit

    Wait…imagine me standing on my desk and screaming that.  I REGISTERED FOR COLLEGE GRADUATION YESTERDAY!!!!


  4. chloe – poem

    December 20, 2008 by shishnit

    I wrote this for a Creative Writing class I took a few months ago. I love her with the heat of a thousand suns, she shines in my heart with the brightness of a million moons in the night sky.  This was my meek attempt to capture her essence.  The assignment called for a poem with concrete details. I got an A.

    chloe

    you are soft

    black, smooth

    all heart

     

    warm against my ankles

    you’re prettier than shoes

     

    your hair is greying

    aging with time

    play, you still do

    you’re always in motion

    you’re so very small

    but you behave like a giant

    you own control

     

    i swear you talk to me

    but only when it’s silent

    and quiet…hush

    those rooms let me hear you

    deciphering

    the morse code

    of your wag

     

    when i kiss you

    you taste of soap

    the ivory near your downy soft skin

    right under your chin

    on your wrinkled up neck

    i smell my own breath

    from yesterdays love

     

    your feet claw me

    leaving small holes in all of my good shirts

    i smile when i see them

    like mesh showing

    in the early morning’s warm sun

    love provides proof

     

    your castaway hairs have sprinkled

    over my crisp ironed sleeves

    like pepper on mashed potatoes

    like yesterday’s dinner

    i always take you to work


  5. stressy day

    December 18, 2008 by shishnit

    Is there such a thing as a stressy day?  What would it then be called if it turned into two consecutive days? 

    First the dryer stopped getting hot yesterday.  Second break in less than a month.  The repairmen are here now looking at it while I stress about what it might be. 

    Then the crappy virtical blinds that came with the house (brand new in April) broke in the living room. I really rather hate the look of virtical blinds but those blinds were saving me from having to make “window covering” decisions.  They were also saving my wallet from having to buy “window coverings”.   Everything I look at is confusing or expensive and I really am sick of blinds but this is Florida where the sun needs to be blinded so that we’re not.

    Ahhh…….I need a new heating element for the dryer, which they don’t have with them, it’ll be about $80 to $90.  Merry Christmas to me!!!

    Ahhhh homeownership….I miss having a landlord to call and bitch at….really only because I really need to de-stress.  The bug guy’s coming tomorrow to spray the house….the dryer repairmen are coming to fix the dryer and I have a hair appointment at 5 tomorrow……

    all on my f’n day off.  I need some stiff coffee…….ha..does such a thing exist??

    Does anyone have any good ideas about window coverings. I’m thinking of doing some bamboo window blinds that can be moved up and down (cheap from Walmart) with panels on the exterior sides hung from ceiling to floor to make the room look bigger.  *sigh*  I should have taken a design course in college.

    I need a hug…..


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