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December, 2008

  1. Christmas cards

    December 17, 2008 by shishnit

    Some years I’ve skipped this tradition.  This year I didn’t. If you’d like a card from my family to your’s, drop me an email at poetical girl@hotmail.com (minus the space) with your mailing address and I’ll be happy to send one  your way.  Boxx this definitely means you too.  Can’t find your address…. :-(

    Category Uncategorized | Tags: | No Comments

  2. home sweet home

    December 16, 2008 by shishnit

    Because sometimes I spend my time mindlessly in an effort to pass time, I often go to www.realtor.com and look at the houses that are for sale. I enjoy this passtime because I used to look with the intent to dream.  Then I spent three months looking with the intent to find something in my price range. Now with the onslaught of foreclosures, I look because I am amazed at what I see.  Houses that were going for upwards of $150,000 and $200,000 are now selling (or trying to sell rather) around $65,000 to $95,000.  It’s sad how many homes that are for sale that have had all the appliances ripped out and in some cases even the in tile toilet paper holder has been damaged.  It takes a lot to damage those things.   The more I look the more I realize that we are living not only in economic crisis but in a time of much anger and hopelessness.

    When I think about my timing in purchasing a house I am often left in disbelief.  Two months after I secured an FHA loan, they changed the terms on them.  The change in terms would have meant I could not purchase my house.  In the past if one party had good credit in a marriage then that one party could purchase a house, they have changed that now and both parties better have outstanding credit no matter what or you’re not buying a house…any house. 

    Now some of the pricing is lower than when I purchased in April (8 months ago) but the credit crisis means that most people can’t obtain the loan or credit that they need, so it’s not really a good deal. I see a lot of really great houses that have more of the features I was shopping for back in April but I cannot see how I could have made it work now.  There is so much chaos surrounding home purchasing now that did not exist back in April.  I knew the prices had dropped in April but at that time I did not know how much lower they would go.  I can’t look at the bargain prices now and see them as a bargain.  I also notice that many of the houses that seem to be bargains come with an “as is” aside.  They also don’t come with an owner willing to pay closing costs or make repairs.  The owners of these so called bargains are angry and depressed and trying to save their own asses before the house gets foreclosed on.  Many of the propertys I looked at in April are now advertised for short sale and or as “bank owned”. 

    Looking at the real estate listings is akin to poking yourself in the eye these days.  Painful. It’s like looking at people’s lives falling apart. I always wonder who lived in these houses, how long they lived there, how much money they spent on that property. It’s like an exercise in futility to own a home that you eventually lose.  I think about the lives that are affected.  It happened to me once, I can relate and I feel sad.

    There are a handful of houses that I looked at seriously back in April that I really loved and yet they were out of my price range.  Those houses are rock bottom dirt cheap now.  In some cases a bit cheaper than the house I bought.  In other cases, quite a bit cheaper.  I suppose I look at the listings because I want to know when the bleeding and loss of value will end.  Will my house still be worth what it is now in another year?  Will homeless people be arguing over street corners soon?  The house beside me is for rent. It has been for rent since November 1st.  A lot of people stop by, they did some work to it and it appears to be a decent house. I have no idea how much the rent is but it’s still sitting there beside us, empty.

    Three years ago Rick and I looked at a house for sale right beside his brother’s house.  They wanted about $40,000 more than we paid for our house this year.  It was 1/3 the size.  In fact it was so small we discussed selling half of what we owned and living in that teensy house long enough to save money for a bigger house.  Thank b’jeezus we didn’t do that.  That house might sell today for $25,000.

    There are a few things that hold true today, 9 months after purchsaing our house.  I still love the house.  The price was right and we got a deal. Our house was remodeled and all the finishes were brand new.  I love that because when you purchase a house with intent to fix it up, somehow that doesn’t always happen and then you put up with or live with things you don’t like for far too long.

    Our house is not perfect, we have a new leak in one of the ceilings (small tiny leak only when it rains hard and steady for a while…we’ll fix it tho’), we don’t care for the job they did on the tile floor and the bathroom medicine cabinet/light fixture combo makes me insane.  Those are so minor it’s insane.  Overall I’m grateful that we bought when we did, and that 9 months later I am still happy with the deal we got.  Now please let us both keep our jobs and stay afloat during these sad times.  Every single day I get up and have a moment of thankfulness and hope…hope for things to improve for everyone.  I think we’re all living with a certain level of insecurity. 

    Category house, life | Tags: | No Comments

  3. a man who washes dishes

    December 14, 2008 by shishnit

    Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

    is a keeper.  Reason #542,111,098,232,198 why “I pick Rick!”

    Category Rick, love and marriage | Tags: | 1 Comment

  4. buckle up!

    December 14, 2008 by shishnit

    I did some Christmas shopping today after work.

    Keith drove me from store to store.

    I survived.  He survived.

    He puts his seat belt on religiously. :-)

    He’s a pretty darn decent driver.

    I do feel as though I’ve aged ten thousand years.

    I’m going to have to inspect more closely for wrinkles and gray hair. (on myself!) (wait..still nothing..whew!!)

    So then…..how did he get old enough to be my chauffeur?

    Category keith, kidlet, life | Tags: | No Comments

  5. reasons to lie

    December 12, 2008 by shishnit

    Sometimes I go months and months without that feeling and they are glorious and amazing months that I enjoy and feel blissful in.  And then one day something happens and it’s like the past is haunting me, creeping into my soul and laughing at me and telling me, “You will never forget you know!”

    Let’s back up here. 

    Yesterday I bought Ryan Adam’s new CD.  I don’t many actual CD’s anymore because I buy my songs by the singles on Itunes like so many other’s.  However, there are a few artists that I prefer to purchase the actual CD for.  Those few being

    Paul Westerberg (as if any long time reader had to ask!)

    Ray LaMontagne

    Jack Johnson

    Ben Harper

    They are probably my favorites and I’m old school when it comes to opening a new CD and reading the liner notes while listening to the new tunes.  There’s something aesthetically pleasing about holding an actual CD in my hands, opening the plastic etc.

    Like most times when I buy a new actual CD, I tend to go back and pull out all the former stuff and go on a music induced haze play fest of listening to an artists entire catalog like a fool.  

    After yesterday’s purchase I decided to go the same course and listen to all my Ryan Adam’s catalog. And then I remembered owning a copy of Whiskeytown’s CD, Pneumonia.  Oh hell yes I know I had it at one point.  I look and look and cannot find it now.  Damn it, don’t you hate that?

    I’m sure most people do.  However for me it brings on a type of anxiety attack that is hard to explain.  You see, for years I bought CD’s, I’m a music freak.  (I once worked at a record store, yes they sold those at one time…and it was cool!!)  And for years my ex-husband would steal my CD’s and sell them to used CD shops. (yes those are largely gone now too….but they existed and paid about $3 to $4 for a CD.  He would attack my stacks like a silent sniper and sell them.  Then I would casually go looking for something and viola it would be gone.  Those were the days before online cataloging.  Upon looking for something I clearly knew I owned and purchased with my money and not finding it, I would ask him and he would behave in one of two manners

    1. “I never saw it, you probably just think you had it”
    2. “Let me help you look for it.” 

    It would never fail, upon going to the closest used shop I would find MY copy of that CD.  How did I know it was mine?  Because I would mark the corners of my CD boxes in only a way I could see and recognize.  Sometimes I would buy back my CD’s, sometimes I would merely leave the store crying.

    Today I couldn’t find Whiskeytown and it made me exceptionally sad.  I can’t say it was victim to his ways way back when, but I can tell you that I found about 11 CD boxes empty upon moving out back in 2002 and I can’t seem to throw those empty boxes away…they haunt me but remind me somehow….that I’m better now.

    I will replace my CD and amazingly enough it won’t walk away.  Because Rick doesn’t steal from me.  The thing that has stuck is not the missing CD’s, or the memories…but the damage a person can do to your soul.  The stuff that doesn’t get wiped away with time.  The wrongs that never turn our alright. 

    I looked up that CD on Itunes and played through the short excerpts and remembered something else.  I used to play this tune over and over again in my car driving home from work.  I was always so happy to get out of work…never so happy to return home.  That’s a sad fucking feeling, when it’s Friday afternoon and you don’t want to go home because you really don’t have one anymore.

    All of these feelings and thoughts went through my mind upon simply not being able to find a CD that I know for fact I owned and played the heck out of.  I also can’t find Jack Johnson’s Brushfire Fairytales.  That’s two CD’s…..that I looked for today.  GO figure.

    Oh…I’ll replace them…and gloriously Rick won’t sell my stuff…it’s a wonderful life…this one I have now.  A marriage that contains respect.  What a novel idea.   And before I go…..thanks Rick for not selling my stuff.  Crazy the things I am thankful for.

    Category divorce | Tags: | No Comments

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