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December, 2008

  1. in a letter…

    December 10, 2008 by shishnit

    Dear Former Neighbor,

    Sometimes I wonder if you know who you married.  I know that when I married him, I was both young and clueless.  I thought that the world was made up of good people. I thought they were mass produced in a play doh fun factory of sorts.  12 years and ten thousand heartache’s later, I realized that he was a sick man.  Not sick like “oh that’s gross” type of sick, but rather that he was a sociopath.  I often wonder if you even know that.  I have sometimes wanted to forewarn you, but you were too busy trying to steal him from me that it seemed pointless to tell you that the prize you thought you were getting was akin to that piece of crap toy that cracker jacks doles out.  It doesn’t last long and it never lives up to it’s potential.  It’s a promise without a warranty really. And that is all he is. Surprise!!  

    I sometimes wonder if you realize that you are working really hard to pay off an overpriced house and that there’s also an additional $47,105.94 lien against that properly, a “sum that shall hereafter bear interest at the statuatory rate of 11% per annum, for all of which sums let execution issue”.  Now I’m no attorney but it would appear to me that adding  11% interest per anum to that debt each and every year means that after 9 years there will still exist a lien against your home of the total amount of $120,498.66. Yes, not an attorney but after gaining a college education, I can do basic math with ease.  

    I realize that this does not matter to him, because let me clue you in, he dosen’t care about anything but himself.  He lives for today and tomorrow is not a concern.  This is what his need to feel important has afforded your future.  

    Having said all of this, there was a time when you were an integral part of my life, and because you are still my son’s stepmother (by title only) you concern me. However, I no longer hate you.  I realize that you were a sort of godsend in my own personal life.  Your wicked ways have alleviated my life from many hell’s in many ways.  This just being one of them.  Now let’s talk about that $100 lien that is accruing interest and how about that other lien…..good grief.  How about those probation officer fines and fees?  Ahh…those must be fun to pay…no???  You better get a part time job and keep working hard as a teller because you’re never going to retire if you stay with him.  Heck 5 years with him and your life’s a real mess.  Hmm…. I think I win….you lose.  I hear your ex-husband married a rich Catholic woman, and your son loves her.  That’s wonderful news.  I hear he still has that stable job with the government too.  I’m so pleased for him really and I’m sure you are too.   

    Oh and by the way, I forgive you….heck I thank you kindly!!  You can keep him too….forever please.  Oh I’m sure none of this matters to you, but if it does feel free to take a nice relaxing cruise in your BMW to de-stress.  Oops….yah, that car has been reposessed.  Hmmm…it really sucks to be you.  

    Have a nice day!
     

     The girl you saved 

    Total Lien per year interest added to debt per year at 11%
    47105.94 5181.65      
    52287.59 5751.63      
    58039.22 6384.31      
    64423.53 7086.58      
    71510.11 7866.11      
    79376.22 8731.38      
    88107.60 9691.83      
    97799.43 10757.93      
    108557.36 11941.30      
             
             
    Total Lien amount after only 9 years 120498.66  
       
             
             
             

    Category divorce, life | Tags: | No Comments

  2. why I will keep buying books….

    December 9, 2008 by shishnit

    Every single day I hear about another person who has a decent job (ie: income levels higher than mine) who goes into foreclosure.  The good ole “Gimme everything now, I’ll worry about that A.R.M. later” issue we have going on in America right now.  However, in terms of the economy, I have begun to wonder how I can save more money.  Not save because OMG I can’t pay my bills, because OMG I can and OMG not for one moment am I not aware of how tenuous that situation can be for everyone.  Because OMG I am.

    So, a few weeks ago I borrowed a book from the library.

    I KNOW!!!  I was shocked too.

    Now, here’s the problem with me and libraries. I tend to forget when a book is due.  I also tend to want to read obscure titles that are not available in the library.  I also tend to get aggravated if I decide to read something from the bestseller list that is not available because OMG everyone and their brother reads Wally Lamb.  And OMG they don’t even know who half the people I want to read are!!  I also like to read 2 or 3 books at the same time, meaning I’m working on 2 or 3 at any given time.  I switch around depending on my mood.  Sometimes you just don’t want to read something heavy and other times you do.

    Today I realized I had a book that was due back TODAY.  I have about 30 pages left to read in it and I was not going to make it to the library during their odd operating hours (ie: tax cuts to the city mean reduced operating hours).  So, I logged into their website to renew the book to avoid a late fee.  YES, late fees are a drag.  The library is only free if you have no life and can always make it back to the place to return your books.  Those of us that have jobs and are in college find it hard to make it to the library that is only open when we are at work!  The library that doesn’t open until 11 a.m., etc.  Ok, so maybe I’m the only one with this issue, but the library is not practical for my life.  I can’t get what I want to read, and I find their services to be more of an aggravation than a godsend.

    So, the library is not working for me.  That was my point.  It’s fiscally responsible yes, but it sucks…big yes! 

    I have cut back on my book spending but not because I want to save or can’t afford to buy, but because I need only to walk into my own library and see dozen’s of books I have yet to read and that guilt alone is enough to keep me from driving the 4 miles to buy more books.  I still buy them however and most of what I want to read is obscure.  Heck I couldn’t even get Craig Ferguson’s book at my library because guess what?  THEY DON’T HAVE IT!!!  Now, how is this convenient?  One other thing that is aggravating is that the library system did tell me that a copy is available in Ocala, FL.  Great.  NOT. 

    Now, I think that I am a rather patient person in most aspects of my life.  I mean I waited forever for a man who would love me unconditionally, keep up his end of the marital bargain and not take his pants off in the neighbor’s house. I mean that surely counts for something when it comes to my personal patience level about things.  I also drive a sensible Honda and do not blow money on perfume, shampoo, gels and potions, etc.  I also largely refrain from expensive restaurants, costly vacations, as well as designer clothes.  I buy food in reasonable quantities and use coupons when I can without stress and more issue than that 50 cent coupon is worth.

    I even gave up starbucks and go to McDoanlds for the golden arches coffee now. (I love McDonalds hot coffee like a fat kid loves cake!)  I am not ordering anything online without FREE shipping codes or 50% off sales. I don’t even want a Christmas present if truth be told.  Really it doesn’t matter to me. 

    The only thing I can really think of that is frivolous to some degree is the amount I pay for a haircut, but judging by the fact that some woman randomly walked up to Rick and I just to tell me that my hair was exactly what she wished her hair was, it’s worth it.  I work in the corporate world and I have to look nice.  I buy things on sale but I finally got it through my head that super cuts is super crap.

    Now having said all of that, and realizing that there is never going to be a bailout for me…..I have one thing to say.

    I buy books because I love to read.  I love to read because it’s an escape, it’s a learning experience, its pure joy.  If I’m addicted to a drug it is called Literature.  And that drug must be delivered in a timely manner, straight to the vein via Joe Retail, my drug dealer, have you met him?

    Since I’m a big-time addict…..the library sucks.  We each choose to spend money as we desire and for most that are in foreclosure right now, it is because they chose to overlook the devil they were selling their souls to in the form of an Adjustable Rate Mortgage.  I was patient, cleaned up my credit and waited for years to buy a house.  My ex was impatient and sold his soul.  Is it my fault he’s got issues with his house now?  Nah…it’s his.

    Now should the state of our economy stop my drug habit?  Nah.  Sure I might try to make my needles last longer and I might buy only when Joe Retail is offering me a good deal. (Have you seen the recent deals that Joe Border’s has on their website?  50% off of 1 book.  Sweeet!)  I also recently got a Amazon $25 gift certificate from my credit card company.  But….things are going to have to get tremendously bad before I stop this habit of mine.  It doesn’t make me fat, it doesn’t harm my health and it keeps me off of the real Prozac.  And since I prefer to live my life without drugs altering my emotions, I will still be purchasing books.  I might buy things from Target (because some titles are much cheaper that way) and sure I might buy 2 books instead of 3 and I might try to read what I already have that I haven’t read, but libraries be damned, they are not the solution for me.  I keep reading more and more articles about how the book publishing industry is hurting, so far be it for me not to support them in their time of need.

    And fortunately for my ex-husband who’s in dire financial straights, the library has ton’s of copies of the Bible available.  However, I’m sure he’s not above stealing one from some seedy hotel if he had to.

    p.s. I have totally given up on buying hardcover novels.  A few reasons.  They are more expensive, there are enough new books in paperback to keep me busy and….they take up too much room.  Reason 3 is the real problem.

    Category books, life | Tags: | No Comments

  3. lunch, ikea, coffee & donuts….oh my!

    December 7, 2008 by shishnit

    This morning I got up and went to work. I dreaded going to work because I didn’t want to get up out of the warm bed and leave Rick behind. However, I managed. About a half hour before I was to leave work Rick called and asked me about my plans for the day. I cannot tell you how immensely happy this made me. He asked me what I might like to do with the day since we both were off, had some downtime to work with etc.

    I asked if we could go to Ikea. Now this is going to sound insane to some people, but this was my first trip to Ikea. The closest Ikea to us is in Orlando, over an hour away. He agreed and I was thrilled. We went out for lunch first, and then drove out to Orlando. The sky was pretty, sunny and blue.

    Ikea is a crapfest of disorganization however. I did buy a few cute things.

    A rug for the library

    Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

    A rug for the kitchen

    Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

    A giant welcome mat for in front of the front door outside

    Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.usAlso bought a few prints and a handful of cotton kitchen towels too. Ikea is fun, cheap…etc. However, that store gave me momentary stress. I was lost and I was overwhelmed. I have great ideas for decorating my house but when faced with too many choices I go berserk. Not to mention seeing something you like but having to walk half a mile to find it then. Rick and I enjoyed our trek there and spent a few hours browsing around. However….Ikea….you are badly managed. There’s surely a better way.

    After Ikea we stopped in at Krispy Kreme, (something we don’t have very close to our city) and had donuts and hot coffee and watched the donuts get all jammed up on the roller bars while the employees jacked around doing nothing.

    Today was good. We did nothing exciting and yet the sunshine…a beautiful day….my husband. So good. So sweet. I LOVE days like today. It’s late….I’m going to go crawl into bed with the man and get nice and warm.

    Category Rick, house, life, love and marriage | Tags: | 1 Comment

  4. keyboard woes do not make you a “writer”

    December 3, 2008 by shishnit

    I read this on a famous writer’s website today.

    What do you consider your greatest literary accomplishment?
    I have quite literally worn the letters off two consecutive computer keyboards.
    So what I say.  So have I. In fact I wear the keys off of every keyboard I ever own.  Typing fast is not a literary accomplishment.  This especially urks me because this author is what I would term accomplished….in that Danelle Steele kind of way.

    On and if you want to hear the funniest Christmas song ever, download

    Dominik the Donkey – Lou Monte

    It will make you laugh.

    3 posts in one day.  Somebody put me back in a class. Ok ok so I start the same class I dropped again next Tuesday.  Whew.

    Category books, writing | Tags: | 2 Comments

  5. I have a crush

    December 3, 2008 by shishnit

    I have a crush on Craig Ferguson from the late late show.  I don’t know when this happened exactly except to say that I often stay up too late at night because I don’t even get home until 10:20 p.m. most nights.  I usually take a hot bath, read a little bit, grab a snack and watch television until I cannot stay awake.  Some nights this means I’m asleep by 11, other nights I’m awake until close to 2 a.m.  Because Rick loves David Letterman and I’m usually in the bath tub while Dave’s on it turns out that Craig just has snuck up on me.  I never intended to even watch the dude.

    I know when it happened…this new crush.  It was the night he did a monologue about politics and I was thinking “Amen brotha!” the entire time. He kept grabbing the camera with his hands and speaking directly into it and while he didn’t say who he preferred, his opinions were spot on with mine about politics and the insanity that was happening.  It was then that I ruined my pajama bottoms and gasped out loud at my newfound love for him.  From that night forth I intentionally turned on his show and my love for him has only blossomed to something bigger than I can almost manage.

    Today I did some research on him and it turns out that he has the same birthday as I do.  Turns out he was on the Drew Carey show but hell I hated that show and never watched it.  I’ve also learned that he wrote the book Between the Bridge and the River and according to it’s amazon reviews it’s amazingly good.  So I suppose now I’m going to be reading Ferguson while he’s on my television too. 

    I must say, he is now my pretend celebrity boyfriend.  He’s funny, he’s smart, he’s engaging and now I find that what has concreted my thoughts is that he wrote a book too.  He’s acted, been a stand up comedian, etc.  And he’s got a fantastic fucking accent and dresses quite well too.  Oh and since you’ve probably never noticed this…I really prefer my men to have one syllable names.   Uh…like Rick….oh and I named my kid Keith.  Ahhh Craig….I can deal with Craig.  I especially love the “c” and “k” sounds in names….uh…just like my own.

    So sorry James Joyce but I gotta read Craig’s book first.  You know, Craig Ferguson, my new celebrity crush.  I think I’ll read the book after I watch this Big Tease video.

    How the hell have I missed out on Craig all this time?  A man who wears a skirt without shame….hot!!!  It’s not really about what he LOOKS like although he’s an attractive enough guy. It’s more about his personality and that is what has always been the thing I seek out in men.

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    If he was good enough for Sharon Stone and Amy Yasbeck (John Ritter’s widow and seriously John Ritter was hot just because he was so damned funny! When I was 12 I wanted to marry John Ritter.) then I’m game.  Oh god then I found this “Ferguson and his ex-wife live next door to each other in Los Angeles, and share custody of their son.”  He’s man enough to live next door to his ex-wife for the kids sake?  *swoon* Email me anytime Craig.

    Category humour, life | Tags: | 1 Comment

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