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from my archives, circa 2001

Nothing
 
Its the nothing things
The things that you do
That I never thought of
Watching you read a book
Now is enough to love
 
The way you chew your tongue
wrinkle your nose
or push back your hair in the wind
makes me curl my toes
 
These things are what I missed
when you were away
These things I have kissed
again
in the nothing that I say
 
Let me tell you nothing
but the smile upon my lips
Im sitting here
Drinking my cappuccino
With tiny little sips
 
You ask me what Im thinking
Its something too hard to explain
I say nothing.
Knowing nothing will
ever be the same

After what had to be the worst day of his life in years…..he came home and is now making me dinner.

Yah….I suck. 

Or is it just that he’s just THAT wonderful?

I’ve felt for the last few weeks that every time I came here to blog I have just wanted to gush to the masses about my husband.  And I have allowed myself to do that somewhat.  But trust that I don’t deserve him and I can’t think of anyone who does.

but I must.  Something bad happened to Rick today.  Suffice it to say that he’s alive and well and for that I am so grateful.  I realize over and over that he’s truly such a sweet guy.  He’s “goodness” personified.  Yes, he does things that aggravate me because I happen to be easily aggravatable…but it always comes down to this…he’s just so damn good in the “person” department that it makes my heart ache. (Good persons should not suffer bad events!!)

And when bad things happen to him…it hurts me so much.

He’s ok….things will be ok….but it sucks.  When these things happen I want to scream, “Why do these things have to happen to him??????????” rather than some assclown that “deserves” it?

I used to be total shit at handling stress…and this thing that happened is uber stressful, more so for him than for me…but for the both of us since we are neither singular anymore, but instead we are entirely a “we”.

Upon hearing his bad news about this thing that happened I let out a huge sigh of relief that he was simply alive and calling me.  He’ll be ok, I’ll be ok…”we”‘ll be ok.  But it still sucks.

p.s.  It’s equally wonderful to be married to someone that is all the things he is.  It makes it so easy for me to be proud of my husband, to love my husband, and to feel so lucky even in light of shitty events.  The words “Nothing matters more than you being ok…the rest can be worked out” were so easy to say that it really does amaze me.  HE is all that matters because he can’t be replaced.

At the Eagles concert. The geriatrics are taking a big long break. Better that than heart attacks I suppose. Also better for me than being at work. They played boys of summer and I cried. I fell in love the summer that song came out.

Let it be known that the bitch beside me can’t dance even though she thinks she’s sexy in her high waisted mom jeans and 1980’s bangs.

Edited after the concert to add: The Eagles played 2 and a half hours. Rock and Roll kept them young. The concert was awesome. Don Henley’s voice is still perfect. Sooo worth the traffic jam in the rain beforehand and the SUPERBOWL only parking lots right now in Tampa.