Hi! In another realm I want to look like a chubby genie.  I think if I just rub my morning donut on my thighs, these pants might appear. I will grant you three wishes, one of which is that you too can wear these pants redesigned by our newest fashion guru EMCEE Hammer! These ultra trendy cropped harem pants offer you the room your fat thighs need, all while allowing your giggly behind the space to expand as needed. No, don’t worry; you won’t look like a chubby leprechaun…unless you wear the coordinating Lucky Charms booties! That….well you know they are magically delicious…just like those ten donuts you can now eat without fear of your pants not fitting!!  (Ruching=cottage dimple disguising clown pants…but shhhh don’t tell)   And do we really need pants with a V front? Men don’t need directions…..or do they? Try these directions instead… “Follow the donut dust to my ruching rear end darling!â€Â  Too bad they don’t sell these items in green…..I could pretend I’m a fat drunk Irish woman all day.
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WOW I am imagining my own ass in those pants and I can’t seem to make any other face than the sour lemon face.
ICK ICK ICK! What the hell were they thinking when they designed those monstrosities?