The Island of Poordom

Yes we live there…sometimes.  I mean we have excursions to the island and then sometimes we actually live on the mainland where funds seem to grow on trees.

Rick took a 2^nd job.  He’s making pizza’s at a restaurant.  Expensive high end pizza’s…we’re not talking dominoes.  He’s still working at the moving company. It’s been a crazy few days of juggling.

On Friday (or was it Saturday..the day’s are running into each other lately…) he worked during the day at the moving company.  He was running late and had to be at the restaurant at 4 p.m.  At 5 p.m. he called and told me he had already called the restaurant manager and told him he’d be in late. I called the manager too (something I rarely do…I think this is the first time I’ve ever called on my husband’s behalf.  THE FIRST! 

While driving the moving truck back to port (the office) the truck broke down. I donned my Wonder Woman outfit and his restaurant clothes and shoes and jumped into my not so invisible plane and drove out to where he was…he had me turn around once saying the truck had started, but alas it broke down again…and I turned around yet again…and went out to meet him at the moving truck.  I picked him up.  He took over at driving and he changed his moving clothes for his restaurant clothes..mostly in the car on the way.  I was Wonder Woman and he was Superman.  And when we arrived in the back parking lot of the restaurant he jumped out and swapped his work shorts and sweat pants for his restaurant jeans and shoes in the parking lot.  It was stressful..this juggling of two jobs.  I felt guilty because it was I who was having insane bouts of worrying about being struck on the Island of Poordom or would it be my fear of landing on Recession Row and not being able to get back out. I’ve lost so much in the past that sometimes I just get the damn jitters about things. It’s really irrational fear.  I am so on top of finances in some ways and in other’s I have more debt that I’m comfortable with.  I’m not comfortable with any debt really.  I hate it. Loathe it in fact.

So…after dropping my Superman off at his second job (we left his personal truck in the moving company port parking lot) and had a moment to catch my breath after solving that crisis….it dawned on me.  My husband was stressed the hell out trying to rush from one job to another job all because his wife has stressitis about the island of poordom.

Do we live on the island of Poordom?  I think that’s a subjective question because I say no the majority of the time because we have such a lovely life together.  But then on the flip side I look around at everyone losing their jobs, their homes, etc. and I get this pit in my stomach.  A pit of fear.  It’s highly irrational, but then again is it?  So many people do not plan for emergencies and live only for today.  I could go buy a new car….in fact part ofm e wants to so bad, but the biggest part of me cannot rationalize it because of my irrational fear of the Island of Poordom.  My goal is to make twice as much as I currently make.  I know that’s a crazy harsh goal, but it’s there in my head.  Not because I want to spend twice as much as I currenty earn but rather because I want to save exactly what I make now each month.  I’m insane..I know.

Rick is working right now at the moving company.  He’s moving my hairdresser and her two young foster son’s.  I, of course, am a walking advertisement for the moving company he works for.  Most people seem to trust me when I tell them he’s a great guy who will come and do a great job.  She called and requested him.  That makes me insanely proud inside. I have a husband I can be proud of and in turn know that other’s will be happy with him as well.

Rick has work from around 7 a.m. to around 11 p.m. every day for the past 4 days (I think…again I’m bad at keeping track of day’s lately) and he amazes me.  I dropped him off at the restaurant the other night and as I drove away….shining up my Wonder Woman bracelet’s after some harsh clinking trying to resolve a crisis…I had this overwhelming pride in Rick…it filled first my mind, then my heart, then overflowed from my soul.  I pulled my wondermobile over and I cried…tears hot and wild….and I wiped them away from my smiling lips.  I love that man so much it both terrifies and amazes me.  

I gave him a Valentine’s Day card yesterday..he had nothing to hand me because he’s been non-stop working.  He didn’t open it. I asked why.  He said, “Because I had nothing to give you yet.” My superman thinks about making me happy, he thinks about giving….he has no idea how happy he makes me.  He’s so selfless.  He’s so amazing.  Not to mention, his cape..it’s hott!! 

It’s hard to ever feel poor..it’s hard not enjoy this island we work so hard to maintain…this sometimes Isle of Poordom, because my life is truly so rich in so many ways.  I never have a day when I don’t feel lucky to be working so hard to have all we do have…with someone who’s willing to jump through hoops of fire with me to have this life.