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I went to Keith’s myspace tonight.  I miss him like madly.  I’m afraid for him.  I’m almost always afraid for him.  Sometimes it has been months upon months when I haven’t seen him over the years…and then sometimes it’s just like I’m reliving memories trying to have a son.
Sometimes I feel so detached from that little boy that I always felt was so much like me that we had a bond.  Maybe I wanted only to believe so badly that we had a bond.  Maybe in my heart he is my little boy but in his heart I’m really not his Mommy anymore.  I can never tell. 
 

Remember when I posted this Birthday post to Keith last November ?

Remember that song I sent his way?
I logged onto his myspace page tonight and that’s the song he has posted there.
 

It is my biggest hope that when the rain is gone….the sun will still be there…that that bond I hope is there..really is.  That song being there…it made me cry.  Where there is love there is always hope.