shishnit.org

I’ve been keeping an online diary since August 4, 2001. The layout there has been updated since the original crapped out and the entries weren’t legible. I keep it up and live because it reminds me of just what a sad and lost girl I once was. I’m not proud of that girl…I am however proud of the one I am becoming.

I am in my thirties and I am happily married to my second and best husband Rick. We met on January 11, 2003 and got married on November 26, 2005 a year after I proposed to him!! I write, I read, I live, I breathe. I have come a long way, have a long way to go.

I have one child to a previous well documented bad marriage.  My son is an amazing person who makes me strive to be the best person I can possibly be. He’s my inspiration always. If given the choice I would marry his father again and again and again so long as the outcome was still as amazing as my son is. I have learned to have no regrets for everything in life turns out just as it should…even if it does involve pain and personal growth.

I am a college student and work for the same University I attend. I really love my job and I really enjoy all of the people I get to work with. I have a great dog and I have a happy life…..finally…my online scribbles have helped me through some of the roughest years and now ….writing and documenting my happy moments is truly far more fun. I love looking back on the good memories far better than looking at the bad. But knowing firsthand the bad…has truly allowed me to appreciate the happiness I now have. 

I live in Florida but I am from Johnstown, PA.   I read tons of books and own over 950 of them (at last count). I would be lost without a book to read. I used to write more poetry than i have as of late….I just don’t have the time I used to have now that I am a fulltime employee, a full time wife, mother, and student. But that’s ok….I’m also fulltime happy. This is the real cast in the story of my life…

Rick is my husband). He works for a moving company as a driver. He hates armoires but he loves Diablo, Poker and cheese on his cheese. He hates when I whine, bitch and/or rant, but adores me when I scratch his back, wash the dishes, and do that one thing that… He’s the best thing to happen in my life for years. I am happy being around him and with him. He makes me smile so much my face hurts. We’ve been together since January of 2003.

Keith is my 14 year old son. I referred to him as “Bucky” for many years in my diary keeping activities. He’s a very artsy child. He draws and writes too. He’s sensitive and loving and just plain funny. He’s got light brown hair and Frank Sinatra blue eyes. He claims he wants to be a famous singer someday. Whatever he does I know now it will be amazing. He’s my reason to strive to be a better person….always.

Randy is Rick’s twin brother, and he and Rick were roommates when I met Rick.

Ex This nickname is obvious. I was married for 12 years. We met in our mutual hometown in PA. We got married after only a 2-month long dating period. I wasn’t pregnant either! We separated well over 4 years ago and have been divorced since Sept.03. He’s the father of my only child…who is amazing. The kid not the ex.

The ex left for the girl he cheated on me with, my neighbor of 4 years who gave me a bible once for Christmas. “Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s wife” was not highlighted…yet. She was also a married woman at the time. Sinner! She was arrested in August of 2005 because she was hitting him on the front lawn. Go figure..eh?

Chloe is my dog. Rick got her for me for my birthday. She’s by far the best gift I ever got for my birthday…or any other holiday for that matter!! She’s a miniature pinscher and I love her to death. She’s rocks!!!! I inherited her from her former owners who had a real live baby and decided that Chloe didn’t fit in. BAD former owners BAD! Lucky moi’!

Brad is “him”. Brad and I have been through a lot together. He and I were online friends first and for years and now we speak from time to time via telephone. He is well and happy and we are still great friends. He’s owns his own “catheter” company. He’s doing quite well with it too. He and his future wife are currently living together but have yet to set a date. He’s the reason I am in college, his ongoing friendship and encouragement.

Delboy used to be my co-worker. He’s my absolute best friend locally. We’ll always be friends. He’s my age and was married to a second wife, but she left him for the UPS guy where they both worked. He has 2 kids. 1 to the first wife and 1 to the second wife. Both the 2nd wife and the first wife are selfish bitches and I think he deserves more than either of them ever were. We understand each other and when we get on the phone we talk for hours. I think he’s funny, and honest and just the raddest. He has a new girlfriend now and no plans to ever marry again.

BraN is the absolute firstest person I ever met online a l-o-o-o-ng time ago on a now defunct forum called “Freetel”. BraN lives in London, England, has an amazing accent since he’s from South Africa originally and then moved to EnguRRRland. He’s my guardian angel and truly the person who taught me the most about friendship despite distance. When we met online the first time he played techno for me and I was hooked and have been ever since. To him and his techno. He’s just like a big giant smile. A smile I’ll never tire of. I’m always fearful of losing him and he’s just always proving me wrong by being there for me. He gave me the definition of “unconditional love” a million times. If you look in the dictionary under “have a nice day” you’ll see his picture.

Carla.  Carla is pretty much my only long term girlfriend. She and I met 21 years ago because of someone else’s Tiger Beat ad that neither of us placed. A friend of mine placed the ad. Carla replied. Instead of hearing back from Suzanne she got me! Suzanne thankfully got too many letters and so I replied to 3 of them. The other two girls…I don’t know what ever happened of them. But Carla and I have been friends ever since. And was 14 then. You do the math! We just met in person for the first time last July (2001) We both went and got tattoos on our backs of Chinese symbols to forever mark our meeting. I love her like a sister that I never had, but I don’t even know if she realizes that. 

If I refer to Paul…I mean “the” Paul Westerberg. If you don’t know who he is, fuck! After you fuck, do a google search and get educated on everything Paul. You’ll be a better person for it.

I’d like to add that I do have family living. I have a sister Tracy who is one year older than me and also has twin daughters. I have seen them only once in their lives. I am an Aunt, but I am sadly not an Aunt. I also have a brother Eric who is 3 years younger than me and still lives at home with my mother and seems to be rather unproductive in his life. I haven’t seen most of my family in ages and I’m quite used to it really.

I think I value my friends and my little family in a way most people don’t. 

My life is a beautiful poem that I am constantly writing.