shishnit.org

cluttering up the internet since 2001

 

tired

It’s been a rough week and tomorrow is still only Thursday.  It seems that mostly all I do sometimes is work work work.  This is largely because of my all inclusive (nearly) all day long workday.  Or the fact that it feels that way.  I work from 12:45 to 10:15 Monday thru Thursday and then 8 a.m. to 1 p.m. on Saturday’s.  Today I worked from 1 p.m. to 6 p.m. taking part in a special Leadership program at the University I work for.

Tomorrow I will work from 9 a.m. to 10:15 p.m.  Yes you read that right. Just typing it makes me want to throw up.  And no….no overtime since I had 1 short day and 1 long day.  *sigh*  Why couldn’t I just get the long day first and the short day the next day? No such luck.

Last I heard Keith went to school today.  I hope that stands as the truth….  It would help if my ex-husband had some communication skills.

Filed under : career
By shishnit
On March 4, 2010
At 3:47 am
Comments : 0
 
 

if “you” only had a brain

Trust me I’m all for education and brain power.  I’m getting my Master’s degree right now. I’m even in favor of good management skills, something few few managers and business owners really have.

Today in a cultural diversity management class I explained that this is Florida, it’s a right to work state and your boss can fire you for being late to work even one time. I pointed out that my husband’s boss at the moving company yammers about all the reasons he could fire a person and how I couldn’t tolerate that from my boss on a continual basis.  A fellow student replied and wrote to me and said this of my husband’s moving company job.

Now that I know the background I can definitely say I agree with you that these “tough as nails” bosses will fire someone at the drop of the dime because it does not take brains to move a family.  Unfortunately, for leaders in our positions we are conditioned not only to enforce company policy but to have compassion for our employees and our families. 


I got really pissed off and wrote back to him. I used to think it didn’t take “brains” to move a family. I now beg to differ.  As a mover you must arrive at the job on time (ie: better use mapquest) and with all of your tools ready to go.  The customer wants to pay someone else to do the job but they also want to dictate, manage and tell you what to do all day long. 

It’s a job that requires a high level of customer service skills, tolerance for people, etc.  Often my husband moves people that speak NO English.  Try that one on….they are telling him to move a couch to a certain area…it can take 15 minutes more just to figure it all out with hand gestures and drawn pictures.  He must explain paperwork, collect payment, explain moving insurance (what is covered and what is not) and get clearance from the customer to even touch their belongings. 

He must then load all of a persons belongings into a truck to avoid duplicate trips, and yet not damage or break anything of the customers because customers really don’t like damaged belongings, especially antiques and things that are clearly not covered in the insurance.  He must know about physics to know how best to pack a truck (there is a efficient and proper way and there is a every day Joe way). 

Amazingly enough even to me most movers have their own abbreviated language for everything they do. I know from experience with my husband when we moved that “SET” means put a piece down to give your moving partner a chance to gain a better grip.  Moving big pieces of furniture down a winding set of stairs can take upwards of ten minutes to properly plan and only 4 minutes of maneuvering…planning is key and often crucial.  He has moved piano’s down 10 flights of spiral stairs with only one other person.  His job does not entail brutal strength and no BRAINS.  I used to think that myself.  Oh moving…big deal…pick it up and put it somewhere else.

Not quite.  There is a lot of planning, communication and customer service.  It’s the only job I can really think of besides dentistry where your customer is yammering away (and even dentists resolve that problem) the entire time they hired you the professional to do the job they don’t want to do or can’t figure out how to do.  My husband has women tell him all day long how to pick up a refrigerator and yet those women are the same one’s who have never in their life picked one up. They like to play director and yet if they knew how to move they’d move without paying him to do it.

My husband and I have the brains versus brute argument all the time. He tells me he has a strained shoulder and I complain about my aching brain neutrons or my tired mouse clicking finger or my carpal tunnel from too much keyboard typing at my office job. 

However….I wouldn’t choose to put up with his customers for a minute. “Don’t scratch my hardwood floor but move that 1300 pound antique armoire across it and I don’t want to unpack anything inside of it..mmkay?”  Oh and don’t mind the cat hair covering everything and oh my look at all the junk under the couch..don’t track that dirt all over my new condo or I’m going to be mad.  While you’re at it, can you move that couch from that spot I told you about five minutes ago and put it over here on the south wall again, I want to decide which I like best”.  Oh and don’t mind Fido’s dog shit all over the bedroom  floor because you know I’m ignoring it so you should too.  And can you please stand in here and take apart my bed, my dresser and my damn ping pong table too and then put it all back together in the new place.  And don’t scratch it.

At the end of it all when the bill talleys up to $5,500 for a 12 hour all day move, the customer will then say “wow that’s crazy”  yet they had 5 people in their house, two trucks loaded up and unloaded, and they sat in a chair smoking a cigarette while someone else packed up even their boxers and deodorant and 5 guy’s walked in and decided who was doing what and had a plan to get them moved from a 5,000 square foot house to a 3,5000 square foot condo in 12 hours.

Do you honestly think that’s all just brutal strength and requires no brains?  Bosses at moving companies are strict because when you need to send 7 guys and someone doesn’t show up….the customer is NOT happy. I’m sure customers get mad and cancel an entire 5k job because a crew showed up at the customers house 3 minutes late.  If you owned that company, wouldn’t you be just like my husband’s boss?  He’s in a business and he needs people to d.y.d.j.  Do your Damn job.  If you’re job means being on time, then do it or lose it.

I too often focus in on structured organizations and how they do things. I  focus in on the Googles and the Starbucks and the IBM’s and HP’s etc.  But the reality is…these small businesses are more plentiful than the Googles and IBM’s of the world and this style or lack of management style is often what the real world copes with.  I’m trying not to lose touch with people unlike myself.  My husband and I are polar opposites. I would call my HR department if a boss ever talked to me like his does.  Different industry..different circumstances.

Incidentally….every time we’ve personally moved, my husband somehow manages to move an entire household in 7 hours flat with minimal help.  It’s not because of brute or speed.  It’s because of critical thinking and planning.  He has a plan and is efficient.  That takes brains.

Did you know that you don’t pack what’s in the dresser drawers…you move them as is.  You don’t pack up books, you shrink wrap the entire bookcase and make sure it’s weighted out properly on all sides and use a hand truck..etc.etc.etc. I could go on and on with all these boring details but it’s not brute like people think.  Trust me the garbage man even has to use his brain to be efficient.  You don’t know a job until you do it.  Calling someone’s job a “brainless” task is really b.s.

Filed under : love and marriage, Rick, world, career
By shishnit
On January 22, 2010
At 2:20 am
Comments : 0
 
 

praised

I spend the majority of my time trying to work towards being something more. I am in college, always writing, reading and readying myself for some unknown opportunity that I’m hopeful will come.  I am hard on myself, I am working on myself, I am molding myself. I am a work in progress and I’m always focused on the work that yet remains. I NEVER blog about work, except to say I go to work.  That’s a given.  However, recently a new position was posted and it’s gotten a lot of buzz, mostly because most of the people I work with have far far less seniority or “time in” than I do. The average is 2 years. I’ve been working at the same company for over 5 years. There hasn’t been much growth within the company in the past 2 years so it’s nice to see some changes and  job additions lately. I am often hard on myself, push myself, and rarely do I ever let up….I feel I’ve wasted a decade of my life being lost…and I need to make up for it.  I never stop and realize how much I’ve done for myself in the last 5+ years.  

Recently one of my co-workers asked me about the buzz gaining job etc.  She’s hopeful that our collective boss will apply for that job so that I can apply for our boss’s job and in essence be her boss.  This had to be one of the most flattering emails I’ve ever received.  Not just that she thinks I can do the job but that she would want me to be her boss..and not because we’re pals, we’re not…just because she respects me. I suppose I’ve learend something in all these management courses afterall.    

She wrote me an email that stated:  

From: Michelle

Sent: Thursday, November 12, 2009 6:35 PM

To: Kristy

Yeah I was just wondering if you thought J. might go for it and then maybe you could be the ops manager! J  From: Kristy

Sent: Thursday, November 12, 2009 6:36 PM

To: Michelle 

She may go for it……lol you want me to be your boss???  Really??? From: Michelle

Sent: Thursday, November 12, 2009 6:37 PM

To: Kristy

Yes really, I think that you are fair, even tempered, and intelligent enough to make a great manager. I’m sure there’s lots more to it than that but every employee should feel like they are treated fair and that their boss has an even temper and is smart enough for the job.
 

Filed under : career
By shishnit
On November 13, 2009
At 2:37 am
Comments : 3
 
 

got assertiveness?

I never blog about work because that’s an area of my life that’s largely off blog limits to me. It gets too cloudy and just makes me jittery.  However, today I had a rather disturbing day personally and it caused me to realize something.

I often allow other’s to treat me poorly, I tell myself I am overlooking their treatment or issues because I’m being the bigger person but I realize that it’s really because I’m trying to be a peacekeeper and this is because of my big fear of chaos.  This fear of chaos seems, to me and my unclearness on the issue still, that it is largely due to the chaos in my childhood due to dysfunction.  I avoid chaos like the plague.  I am largely the peacekeeper in my marriage and will often apologize even when I feel I’ve done nothing wrong because apologies diffuse chaos and murky air between two people.  I prefer to clear the air and not feel uncomfortable over the “issues” just hanging in the air unresolved.  So much so that often things are not at all resolved for me and yet I tell myself they are just to move past that bad feeling.

In all of this chaos avoiding I am really harming myself because I allow all of these things that I bypass and ignore and try to disregard to build up until they are rather huge problems that I’ve allowed to fester not only within me but outside of me because I never STAND UP FOR MYSELF.  I never say “That is not ok with me; I have a problem with that!”  When you don’t voice your issues you are allowing them often times to overcome you in a more lethal way.   I do tend to “try harder” to voice myself with Rick, but I’m not nearly as fearful of him.  I do play peacekeeper too quickly for sure because I love that boy and I can’t stand to be on the outs with him at all.  There surely is a good balance in there that I could feel better about.

Now, I am just getting a handle on this in terms of understanding that I’ve been doing this and just how harmful it has gotten to my overall happiness and self peace.  I am not assertive at work because I see this as “rocking the boat”.  Now this all seems rather silly to me on another level because I almost always speak my mind, or so I thought.  However, I am coming to the realization that I am not assertive and if I even attempt assertiveness I abandon ship quickly if the matter becomes ugly just in order to maintain peace.  I’m seeing through this haze and fog that still exists that I need to face the ugly and overcome it and assert myself in order to truly be healthy mentally. Fearing honest and open communication due to the negative aspects of conflict is just wrong.

I think that 12 years of a bad marriage with virtually little to no communication didn’t help matters.  I often just took the emotional abuse and tried to “fix it” to keep any semblance of peace and quiet in my life.  I’ve often read that people that are a product of dysfunctional families seek chaos.  I often wondered if I was doing that. 

I now realize that I’m pretending it (the chaos) doesn’t exist when it does creep into my life.  I really need to work on my assertiveness and not be in constant fear of negative retaliation because of it.  I also need to stand up for myself because I need to stop being everyone’s door mat just in pursuit of wanting and seeking peace.  It only enables others to walk all over me until I’m a pulp of pain when it all catches up to me.  And also because I apologize, overlook, avoid, or play peacekeeper things don’t have a chance to come to a head and then to a resulting resolution so I’m lying to myself about peace, hiding from chaos, and nothing gets resolved.  And then when I can’t stuff anything else down, I’m on emotional overload and can’t even begin to approach the original problem anymore.

Have you had this problem?  If so, what did you do to resolve it?  

For the time being, I had a good cry during my lunch hour when it all dawned on me and I realized I am Jack and this beanstalk of a problem exists and I must overcome this.  I am also going to start by reading this book.

Ya know, because if I’m consistent about one thing, it is relying on books to inform.  If that book doesn’t help at all, I’m going straight back to therapy!!  I can no longer justify suffering when help exists.  I cannot “wishful think” this one away, it must be a goal and I need to find a clear and concise “task list” to overcome this.  Ya know, all those management courses and I’m still learning how to manage my own life.  *sigh*  I’m also still unclear and unsure if I’ve accurately pinpointed the true and real issues, I’m still finding my way and I’m really rather in shock to discover my avoidance issues.  I’ve added this as a blog category and I apologize in advance if I start to blog about this one way too much. I might become over the top….just pretend I’m a Mommy blogger having a diaper or breastfeeding outburst and ignore me if you must. No wait, that’s not very assertive on my part.  Let me rephrase that. I ‘m going through something, I’m working on it, respect me or bite the big one. 

ahhh…blog assertiveness…..that’s just not enough!

Filed under : world, career, shit happens!, assertiveness
By shishnit
On July 23, 2009
At 5:00 am
Comments : 2
 
 

I miss you Bertha!

I said long ago that when the ride was over I would cry.  I had no earthly idea how hard it was going to be.  My workpal Chad was fired (let go…due to not meeting standards that are impossible to meet for anyone…honestly not because he deserved it) and that was over a month ago. I haven’t yet had the fucking heart to even blog about it.  It didn’t hit me for a few weeks either.  And now it’s been nearly a month and I feel as though I am mourning someone’s death.  I go to work and I miss him.  A lot!!  I really miss him more than seems normal but it’s as if I’m working a job that’s no longer the same because his presence is gone.  I do keep in touch with him and I have talked to him at least twice a week since he left, but this was someone I talked to every dang day before…for up to 9 hours a day!!!  I miss him because not too many people get my sense of humour and he actually perpetuates it and brings out the best in my funny bone.  I miss that. I miss someone to laugh so hard with that my side hurts and I fear peeing my pants. 

I miss him so freaking much it’s making me insane.  He once said he would miss BS’in with me when the ride was over…..  I knew then it would be hard when it came to some natural end…but damn I had no idea how much it would hurt.

I’ve worked with dozens of people in my adult life…and rarely do you have so much fun with another human being.  He and I laughed so much we were humour partners in crime. I am walking in graduation on Saturday and Chad won’t be there.  He feels odd coming to an event so utterly surrounded by what are for him ..former co-workers.  I understand it and don’t expect him to arrive but I really always envisioned my graduation with a few dozen whoopie cushions going off when they said my name…whoopie cushions courtesty of Chad’s doing.  That won’t happen now…and I am more than sad about it.

Chad was there the entire time I worked through my undergrad and made jokes to keep me motivated and going every time I complained or said I wanted to quit.  He was there from week 1 at my job.  And now he’s not at work and he won’t be at my graduation.  I asked him to send a big gift to make up for his absence and he laughed and said “Yah right Chef, I’m unemployed…Daddy can’t send no big gift!”  I got a birthday card from my co-workers and Chad’s name wasn’t on it….it seriously made me go in the bathroom and cry.

My friend Chad…at some work event a few years ago….

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Tonight I sent him this email.  It’s rare for me to tell someone how I really feel….but I had to.

……

Its like being in your favorite bar without any drinking buddies in sight.

Like having a brand new pack of condoms and nobody to fuck.

It’s like finding a chocolate cake (after two weeks of straight dieting) in your fridge but then realizing it’s got mold growing on the side of it.

Like buying a new book and reading to page 100 only to realize at 2 a.m. when you get to the good part that page 101 thru 200 are missing and 1-100 are repeated.

It’s like buying a new car and it breaks down on your first ride home.

It’s like feeling like you’re the only one that gets it and no one else around you does.

It’s like going to church and having no one to laugh with at the funny pants on the old woman sitting in front of you.

Like winning $1,000 and then losing the ticket on the way to cash it in.

Like wearing a new pair of pants and the first time you sit down they split down the seam. (not that THAT has ever happened to me…..!!!)

  
I am going crazy being in here without you. 

I see things and there’s no one to laugh with.

Feee-uck it’s hard to explain.

It’s like being in the big house but Bertha got out before you. 

I miss you Bertha.

p.s. I didn’t eat the cake either!!
 

Filed under : friends, career
By shishnit
On June 2, 2009
At 1:46 am
Comments : 0