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‘health’ Category

  1. the “c” word

    June 1, 2007 by shishnit

    I have to go on Tuesday for another D&C.  Outpatient…but they knock you out and send you home bleeding.  Fun stuff….

    They say my uterus lining is too thick right now.  A uterine lining that is too thick in a PCOS patient screams out loud about the cancer risks.  If there’s nothing seriously wrong they will do the D&C and then send me back to the OB/GYN to go on Clomid. The test he performed in his office came back negative for cancer.  In fact every single damned test they have done in the last two years has come back negative.  It’s frustrating because they put you through the scare of your life every time they say the “c” word.
     

    So I’ll go on Tuesday and then wait approximately a week and get the results and go from there.  It’s never-ending this having a uterus thing…..gahhhh. 

    However, I worked about 55 hrs this week so far getting training for my new position and teaching a new guy my old position so it’s crazy but I could use a day off….even if I have to get knocked out and bleed to get it. :-)  

    The procedure is scheduled for 9 a.m.  I’m usually home by 11 a.m. and so at least I can curl up on the couch and watch a movie or something.  I never have any pain at all but can’t go to work because it’s not recommended that you drive after being knocked out with anesthesia.  Every other time or so it makes me feel really nauseous but for the most part it’s not a major big medical procedure.

    Chasteberry, Vitamin D, Calcium, and or any other over the counter vitamin or herb is not going to make a PCOS patient ovulate if they do not do so on their own accord.  Some vitamins may help a small portion of people.  The biggest natural help is to lose weight.  Try losing a large large portion of weight when you have PCOS.  It’s like trying to clean the sand off of the beach.  I will not say it’s not doable but it’s as doable as my sand reference.  If PCOS makes you 80 to 100lbs overweight losing 10 or 20 lbs helps but there’s still tons of sand on the beach. 

    Today while explaining the situation to my sister via email this is how it went down.  We were discussing the possibility of my taking Clomid if the D&C show’s everything to be ok.

    ME: It’s been so back and forth that one day I’m ok with never having any more kids ever.  Then things are looking up…and I think I want a baby so bad I could spit fire.  I go back and forth. 

    My sister: EXACTLY – THAT’S HOW I FEEL.  CAN’T DECIDE – BUT MY TIME IS RUNNING OUT!  GOD WILL HAVE TO GRANT IT IF IT’S GONNA HAPPEN FOR ME OR NOT.

    Category health | Tags: | 1 Comment

  2. please….

    May 29, 2007 by shishnit

    Last night Rick stated, “I would get two jobs, one bigger better job, something…..I do not want to lose all of this.”

    (said with a big gesture around our beautiful home)

    I think all of this….it is all better than anything either of us has ever had or known.  I have much to be happy about.  I just want to be healthy to enjoy it all…..all of what I already have.  And nope…it’s not about a house…it’s about having a home, a place where you belong where you can’t wait to get home and be with the other half of your heart.

    I truly need for nothing more.

    Category Rick, health, house, love and marriage | Tags: | No Comments

  3. long weekend….went by too fast eh?

    May 29, 2007 by shishnit

    This weekend….is over.  I did a lot of things and a lot of nothing but I rarely got a chance to read and I barely got a chance to spend any time with my husband.  I wrote the two papers I had to write.  I even took a hot bath or two.  We (the man and I) hung a lot of the pictures that have just been lying around the house.  There’s still more to hang.  Oh well.

    He cut the grass in the back and front yards.  I took my car to the carwash.  It looks love bug free now.

    This week is going to be crazy.  And while I managed to relax, watch “Little Children” the movie (would suck if you haven’t read the book) drink lots of lattes and enjoy myself….the impending not knowing of the health issues…they were there in the back of my mind all weekend.  Suckage.  The not knowing and yet knowing I must go through another D&C, miss a day of work to do so…it all sucks.  Sucks.  And I keep saying “it’ll be better when…” and completing it with other words….the reality is life is life and I’m truly trying to learn to live in the now.  But right now…I’m nervous.

    I did manage to take a nice bath, read a new book and drink a glass of my favorite wine.

    Hot Bath, Red Wine and a book to read oh my!!

    Category books, health | Tags: | No Comments

  4. the one where I’m all over the road driving a kiddie car

    May 25, 2007 by shishnit

    Ok so last week I had another trans vag test and another pelvic sonogram.  I thought I saw the last of Dr. Oncologist.  No such luck.  Even though he told me to schedule with my OB/GYN to discuss Chlomid.

    His office called me yesterday and told me they found something “worrisome” and “concerning” on the trans vag test and that Dr. Oncologist wants me to come in and schedule another D&C.

    Fuck me.

    Seriously…..as soon as I accept what is happening I get nailed with different news.  Its like being whipped around like a yo yo.

    The other bad thing about this and yah I shouldn’t even be concerned.

    I start a new position on June 1st and I’m currently having a mad dash to get training from the last girl who does this job who is leaving on June 1st.  And now I had to schedule an appointment (I go next Thursday to Dr. Oncologist again…).  I am truly getting to where I am at a loss and I mostly wish I didn’t have PCOS and that I wasn’t ever born a girl.

    Seriously…..fuck.

    I worked all day today, even though this was previously supposed to be my day off.  I have tons of pages of directions….but still have no clue what I am doing.  Mostly pulling and compiling tons of different reports.  Nothing that scares me.  But I worked yesterday until 10:10 p.m. and got up and went back to Tampa (3 days in a row!!!) to train.

    I’m tired….sick of being female sick…..and frustrated…to say the least.  I plan a hot bath tonight….lots of cuddling with my husband who was fantastic and gave me the worlds biggest hug this morning before we both left for work.

    I work my old/current position tomorrow and must do another entire report by the close of business for that position. 

    I’m stressed….currently tired…..and quite frankly…after that phone call from the oncologist…

    I have to write two papers before Monday….both I haven’t even started doing research for.

    I’d rather spend the holiday weekend with my husband….

    I’m scared too.  God how I’m trying not to be….but I am.

    Category career, college, health, love and marriage | Tags: | 1 Comment

  5. ahhh moving….sseee—ucks!

    May 19, 2007 by shishnit

    I went this morning for my transvaginal and pelvic sonnograms.  I got the same technician I had that last time. I really liked him then.  He talks to you the entire time and makes you feel comfortable.  I really liked him. He told me that he’s not going to be doing trans-vag’s anymore because women want male female doctor’s.  Say what?  IS that true?  I have a male OB/GYN.  I could care less if they’re male or female…I want smart!!  He gave me his name and information and told me I can requet that test be done there and by him in the future and they will still schedule it.  Nice.  That was very nice of him to tell me because I’m comfortable with him.  AND NO he’s not hott.  He’s just professional and courteous and good at his job.  He remembered my health issues and asked if I had my right ovary removed yet.  He knew I had a dermoid cyst when I was there but he’s not allowed to comment or diagnose.  That must be hard on them.  To know something’s wrong but have no say in the matter.

    Last weeks uterus suction test came back negative as well.  That’s a good thing. As in negative for anything cancerous or precancerous etc.  I have to call my MALE OB/GYN for an appointment and see where we go from here.

    We are mostly moved into the house.  I am sitting in the office/library.  Yup, Internet already.  Cable too.  They’re fast.  I had a bath earlier.  Ahhh nice hot bath in the jacuzzi.  It felt great after such a long day of moving and sweating and medical tests.  We still have a lot of straightening out to do but that will come with time.  I can’t believe how many clothes and shoes I have.  They all take up two average size closets.  I still have room but jeesh I need to clean out some.

    We slept here last night and I never woke up all night.  It’s so entirely quiet here.  Nice.  It feels good to be away from all the crazy neighbors and noise and apartment maintenance issues.  I’m enjoying it.  Life is good.

     

    First Bath in the New House

    Category health, house | Tags: | No Comments

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