June 8, 2010 by shishnit
I haven’t been an honest open blogger like I was in the past. With everything that’s been going on with my relationships with everyone in my life right now,  I just haven’t had the heart to jump back on the crazy train that my life seems to have turned into over the last few months. I’ve been spending a lot of time just staring off into space, swimming in the river denial and wondering how things have gotten to this place.
Rick and I are falling apart, have fallen apart…might fall apart…are experiencing major trauma…are a mess….are apart…? I don’t even know. I can’t even pinpoint where things took a big left turn. I only know that I’m not the one that grabbed that stearing wheel and headed off in the direction of the cliff side. I know he did. I just don’t know why or what happened.
I have cried, been in shock…fought for my own sanity and just sat bawling and praying to some entity that has no name but that of “hope†for quite a few weeks now. I’ve felt like his mother, his confidant, sometimes his partner in crime…a crime I never wanted to comit. Its so raw right now, I can’t put it into words. I have cheered other’s on as they rejoice for their new spring day…their rebirth and I am standing in a room full of shards of glass and it vaguely reminds me of some other chapter of my life…only worse because this time it matters on such a different level.
Maybe someday I’ll talk about it, blog about it. Maybe not. Hopefully I won’t have to. I don’t want to. Right now I somehow had to because it all just hurts and hurts and when I think I can be hurt no more, I am hurt tenfold again.
Do you think Thelma and Louise somehow landed on a safety net after their car went over?
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Category Rick, family, health, keith, kidlet, life, love and marriage, world | Tags: | 4 Comments
May 17, 2010 by shishnit
Today I am 40. Technically I am not 40 until 11:59 p.m. That’s when I was born. I royally pissed my mother off by not being born on May 18.Â
Mostly all day today I thought about just how many wonderful people are in my life. I got a msg from my first boyfriend from when I was 14, a note from my first best friend who sat behind me in Accounting in highschool and both a phone call and an email from my “wish he was” my brother Greg. I got countless messages from co-workers, faculty and students. I think the first half of my 40 years kinda sucked…and the second half has progressively gotten better and better. Bring it on I say…it’s getting sweeter like wine.
Category life | Tags: | 6 Comments
May 12, 2010 by shishnit
In early 2008 we began to seriously think about buying a house. The home we were living in was extremely overpriced and over-valued. I imagine a lot of people felt that same way about a lot of houses at the time. I wrote about our experiences with our previous landlord here who wanted to sell us the house but we could not afford the $315,000 that he was wanting at the time and tried to purchase his son’s home…which was also extremely overpriced (and is also still not sold today).
I blogged again about my viewpoint on our home purchase a few months later and my viewpoitns 9 months after purchasing it here. I was still feeling relatively good about our choices.
Then one day I googled my old leased house (the one that I really really loved and wanted to buy for the entire year I lived in it) here. The picture dissapeared from that blog post so here it is again.
That house really urked me because I loved it. It was perfect in a lot of ways. Today out of curiosity I looked up that house again…just to see what time has done since last September. I know everytime we’ve driven by it (and we have to make an effort to do so) it has had a for sale sign out front. Today I found out that the house was foreclosed on. I felt like Karma had finally had her say. That’s what you get landlord guy….that’s what you get for raising our rent on us when we were attempting to purchase your son’s house. (a house still not sold either!)
And then I found it….the for sale ad. 116,900!!
It’s now selling for less than we paid for our house. L They wanted 315k when we lived in it two years ago. Oh if only I had waited 2 entire fucking years…..lol as if. Someone got fucked on that house and it wasn’t us. Thank you Jesus. But I still wanted to barf right in that open toilet right there…the same one I peed in for an entire year of my life right before going to bed at night.
But then oddly….I started to think about our house. The one we did buy. The one that we’ve had to fix several things in. The one that needs new air conditioning duct work as I type. The one that has had termites!! The one that needs a trench dug out around the addition. The one that’s driving me nuts right now. And I’m still happy because I’ve had some fantastic moments in that house with the big huge library. The one that isn’t a real estate transaction or a memory captured by google maps but the one that is our  HOME sweet HOME.
Category Rick, family, finances, house, life, love and marriage | Tags: | No Comments
April 28, 2010 by shishnit
This is what happens when you drive after visiting the bar. There’s no nicer way to say it. Rick ran into two parked cars (parked along the street) and caused lots of damage to both of those cars. Both belonging to one guy…one being his personal car and the other being his personal cab for his own business.Â
He should have gotten a DUI…but didn’t because the police were too busy processing 2 other drunk drivers and apparently don’t have the resources to process more than 2 in the county at one time.Â
I have mixed feelings but I don’t want to forget this stupidity. And that is exactly what it is. I also think if you drive drunk you should be in jail. I have said this to Rick. Yes…this is trouble in paradise. Yes I am angry and bewildered. And since I blog the truth..the truth is…I’m pretty numb. I’m also grateful no one got hurt.
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His truck before: 
His truck after: 
Since we live on the island of poordom, no telling when Rick will have a driveable vehicle again. (He does have insurance, but not on his own vehicle.)
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Category Rick, life, love and marriage | Tags: | 3 Comments
April 22, 2010 by shishnit
But I really hate long book reviews that tell me everything I need to know about the book…thereby making it a needless process to actually read it myself.Â
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Hate that.
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I also hate that person that reviews a product on an online retailer only to bitch about how their shipment was busted, didn’t arrive or was misdelivered.
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THAT review doesn’t tell me anything about the product itself. You’re angry…stop telling the world, we don’t care.
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Hate that.
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I also hate people who get things for free and then proceed to gush about them even though we all know said book, product, etc. is total crapola.Â
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I really really hate that.
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Another thing.
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I really hate blogs where people bitch about how aggravating their children are. No one made you have them. Some people can’t have them. You’re wrong to complain about something you signed up for.
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Tripe hate that. And that’s saying alot since I’m having my own parenting struggles. But low and behold..I love my son. More every day.
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I also hate when people think because person A did it..that person B and C will likely do the same. Person B and C are not Person A. Get over Person A….he or she is hopefully gone.
Category life | Tags: | 2 Comments
