Someone recently asked me about reviewing books.  Do I review the ones I don’t like? I don’t officially do that. I don’t write about books I can’t promote because just putting the book cover up there is publicity.  And I hardly feel that bashing an artist’s work is my objective.  However, from time to time I must speak up and THIS is still my personal blog.  I cannot promote a book when I can’t find anything worthwhile within. Nor can I when my stomach turns and I cannot even finish it!

“Her marriage challenged by an insane, irresistible love affair, Julie decides to leave town and immerse herself in a new obsession: butchery”.

Cleaving: A Story of Marriage, Meat, and Obsession by Julie Powell

Ok that’s the blurb for the new book by Julia Powell called Cleaving.  I picked it up because I rather enjoyed Julie and Julia and this is NOT a full on review because guess what? I couldn’t read it.  Why? Because guess what? She’s a major trainwreck in this book.  The affair is her…she’s banging the hell out of someone else and her husband knows about it and she tells him and oh…”that’s just the way it is” is her attitude.  I didn’t buy the book, I read 40 plus pages of it and then skim read through the rest.

Insane irresistable love affair?  Now, I have a tainted past when it comes to marital problems. My ex-husband cheated on me with his first girlfriend swooping my then 8 year old son off to New York State from Florida after advising me that he was going down the street two blocks to get some dinner. In actuality my son dissapeared for 2 days with his father before I knew where either of them was.  21 days later my ex called asking me for money to feed same said child and returned home, kicked to the curb by his “insane irresistable love affair”.  So the topic of extramarital love affairs is something I don’t take lightly and the way this publisher is providing that above blurb peevs me and makes my skin crawl a bit. 

Now, let me admit this as I always have. I cheated on my first husband. A lot.  Both emotinally and physically (the a lot mostly emotionally with an online boy I called “him”) but it was after that 21 day debaucle and in my mind we were never a marital unit again. I could not trust him and I did not feel any bond with him, aside from our beautiful child.  I was a mess for a long long time over his and my “insane, irresistable love affairs” and it’s sad to me that we now live in a world where this stuff is exploited and used to sell books.  I love books but this issue saddens me.  The pages I read spoke about Julie getting text messages from her boyfriend (affair partner…not sure what she called him in the book) while sitting with her husband and how she felt them buzzing while husband was sitting there with her.  Disturbing at best.

Shame on you Hatchette Book Group for promoting this as lighthearted!  Marrital affairs are lighthearted?  Really?  And described as “hilarious and ferociously articulate” by Entertainment Weekly.  Again, really?  Marriages falling prey to cheating is hilarious?

I will never forget the pain caused by affairs.  If you’re the other woman, the woman, his woman, the one he won’t tell about, the online affair, the real affair, the emotional affair…AFFAIRS ARE NOT merely challenging, nor are they hilarious. If you’re the wife and he’s cheating chances are you’ll end up cheating back, becoming suicidal or at the very least be a train wreck for quite some time.  Nothing funny about any of those outcomes.  But hey I could be wrong, if you had someone cheat on you and you feel it’s hilarious or merely a challenge to your marriage feel free to contact me and set me straight.

disclaimer: I only read 40+ pages and skimmed this book but geesh….hated the entire premise because I couldn’t get past feeling for the “husband” being cheated on. 

p.s. personal disclaimer…”him” and I don’t speak any longer. I’m happily married these days, immensely happily married and to talk to “him” would be cheating….emotionally…but I still won’t do that to a husband who’s faithful to me.