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‘poetical’ Category

  1. you’re loved (poem)

    December 6, 2007 by shishnit

    do you wonder if 

    it’s real 

    really there in the feel 

    the feel of my hair 

    on your clothes 

     

    static 

    an electricity 

    movement 

    explicitly 

     

    do you ever forget, love? 

     

    come here 

    want to? 

    go lay down? 

     

    I’ll remember you 

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  2. Interstate 19 (poem)

    November 7, 2007 by shishnit

    Coffee and cigarettes
    And you said the word love
    Mashed potato’s and
    No regrets
    Thank god
    We’re enough

    Car rides
    And breakfast smiles
    My hand traces your thigh
    No sides and besides
    Every mile I’m kissed
    By your high

    Chain smoke
    Half the hours away
    Collect calls
    Yes yes
    And then your
    Walking away

    Watching you
    Moving you in my mind
    To the forefront
    You’re the storefront
    Window to every
    Candy sweet
    Nicotine line

    “I love you”
    “look at me, I mean it”
    and I drove away
    “I love you right back”
    .. I didn’t say it
    Cause I told you all about it

    Yesterday 

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  3. double up!

    October 19, 2007 by shishnit

    My week has been nutso crazy.  I have had so many tasks to do that I feel like I can’t breathe.  I’ve been working late every night and coming home trying desparately to get a handle on school assignments.  I am going to be doubling up starting this Wednesday.  For me this means I’m taking a Psychology course online and beginning a ground course in Western Religion midway through the first course.  Crazy?  Yes yes I am. 

    M coursework is not hard or impossible, yet it is intense!  I have to write a paper on a major theorist for psychology and then another paper comparing and contrasting 3 religions for the first night of the Religion course.  They psychology paper is due on Monday, the Religion paper due on Wednesday night of next week.  Not bad, but the quick realization for me is that I had better get it together and get all of this done this weekend.

    This morning on my way to work I was in a car accident.  Ok so some guy driving a van rear-ended me during a sudden stopping situation n I-275 North.  Grrreat.  Just grrrreat.  But no damage to my car, or myself…save for a broken fingernail. I spent all day today whining about that broken fingernail to anyone that would listen…but truly in my head I was still shaken and somewhat panicked at the thoughts of what if….all the what if’s that could have happened.  A cop stopped at the scene immediately and it was hurried and crazy and no police report was even written up because there was no damage or proof of any accident/!?!  What the hell?  Like my work pal Chad said, “Dude he was on his way to Dunkin Donuts, he didn’t have time for your Pope Mobile.”  Probably true.  But all appears to be just fine, including me…save for my fingernail. 

    I also called today to set a hair appointment with the girl who does my hair now and guess what…she up and quit too.  But I asked the person if they knew where she was working and low and behold she moved from Regis to Mia and Maxx.  That’s about 1 yard down the mall.  Go figure!  So I called Mia and Maxx and got an appointment. I’m going to give this girl my email address with strict instructions to tell me where she is at all times.  I hate finding someone good to cut my hair..it rarely happens.  First the hot guy quit and now this….nearly lost this one.  But this appointment is for Sat at 10 a.m.  Am I nuts making myself wake up early on a Saturday for my hair?  I must be.  But perhaps this will be a good thing..an early start and then I can write these damndable papers that are haunting me all week.

    Things at work have been hectic because there was a major mgt change.  My former boss was actually demoted.  :-(   I find this to be sad but on the flipside it’s actually been a good thing for me personally in my job because I now have a gungho boss and her positive attitude is very infectious!  I’m hoping it holds out for quite some time moving forward.  Gah…I typed moving forward….what is happening to me?

    Someone that reads here (yah one of the 3 or 4) told me recently that my email sounded like a “college student’s” email.  That comment made me smile all day.  I wondered, “am I morphing into someone better….smarter….etc.?  I’m not sure. I suppose I am without having time to realize it.  Recently my NEW boss asked me if I was planning my great escape from work now that I’m so close to being done.  I emphatically stated no.  I believe this is soley due to my desire to gain my Masters degree.  Here’s the crazy thing, I can’t believe this is me who wants her masters.  ME?  And at least 50% of the reason is logical and 50% is solely based on the fact that my older sister never got her MBA.  Crazy right?  But if I’m going to do something for a crazy reason…why not have it be “Getting your MBA!”?? 

    I am in a Psycology course and I’m actually loving it.  Like a duck to water…and so this makes me truly desire my Masters not for more money or a specific job but because I can and I want to….yes and because my sister doesn’t have hers….yah that too.   

    The quest for a baby continues, just popped the first day of Clomid’s.  However, I am ok with any outcome.  Its of course disappointing but I keep thinking that there’s a plan, the universe has a plan for me…I just have to wait and see how it all turns out and since I don’t want to fast forward my days here on earth I must learn patience. 

    Right now, I’m going to go jump in a hot shower, and wash my long ass hair and lay under the ceiling fan with a good book.  What’s this one?  Sparks notes about Freud.  Sounds awesome doesn’t it?

    There’s only one thing I miss with this new crazy hectic busy working/college attending life….my creativity.  My “free” time. 

    One of my co-workers is nearly computer illiterate.  She’s constantly asking me for help, and I’m ok with this because she’s one of our corporate liason’s and she’s not meant to do desk work on a computer.  However, today she said, “Hey Kristy have I shown you my new Blackberry yet?”  I said, “No, lemme see!”

    She showed me her physical Appointment Book in her hand.

    For some reason I immediately thought, “oh for simplicity!” in a very longing type of way. 

     

    I long for paper with blue lines that tie my down to the page and make me, nearly break me open to the core, licking the seeds of creativity until they sprew food with new life, the fruit of my innnermost thoughts and feelings. I miss 2 a.m. phone calls, and trips in my car winding around yellow lines like a circus act walking tight ropes.  I miss that time…that time I used to have to play with my soul.

    Category college, infertility, poetical | Tags: | 1 Comment

  4. why? (poem)

    October 5, 2007 by shishnit

    Van Halen for 20 minutes was a bad idea

    why do i still think about it

    why does it still get to me

    a book on a shelf

    pulling it down, blowing dust

    brand new again

    the story

    then

    is real now

    when i said goodbye

    you were young

    can i (not) picture age

    in your face

    tell me Sam

    why can’t this be love?

    Category poetical | Tags: | No Comments

  5. only you

    April 24, 2007 by shishnit

    only you
    i choose
    among the entire world

    is it fair
    of you
    letting me be unhappy

    my heart
    is a pen
    in your hand

    it is all
    up to you
    to write me happy or sad

    i see only
    what you reveal
    and live as you say

    all my feelings
    have the color
    you desire to paint

    from the beginning
    to the end
    no one but you

    please make
    my future
    better than the past

    when you hide
    i change
    to a Godless person

    and when you
    appear
    i find my faith

    don’t expect
    to find any more in me
    than what you give

    don’t search for
    hidden pockets because
    i’ve shown you that
    all i have
    is all you gave. 

     

    Rumi 

    dedicated to BraN who’s getting married in 1.5 weeks…so happy for you. I love this love poem by Rumi.  Remember all that matters is her….and she’s always right.  ;-)

    Category poetical | Tags: | 1 Comment

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