we are finally moved. i took the entire week off and we moved. i’m pretty much done except for the new libary/office room and i can’t find my camera cord to upload my photos. i’m happy, not very well rested after vacation but happy. very very happy. i have much to be thankful for.
life always doles out blessings, even when we think we’ve surely been robbed - me
Yesterday was Matthew’s birthday. He’s 1 already. If he could understand I would thank him so so much for being patient with me and my personal issues long enough to allow me to grow to love him without measure. He’s the sweetest boy ever and I’m one lucky Aunt to have him. He still smells like little baby…so precious.
Well I broke, I wrote a song
About our love, and how its strong
How your kisses keep me warm.
And even when I make you cry,
I’ll still sing you lullabies.
Make those grey clouds bright blue skies.
Because you’re the cocaine in my veins.
This is something I regret
Not confessing how I felt,
How my heart beats quicker still.
So melt your body into mine,
Become as one over time,
Lord shake her bones and make her mine.
Because you’re the cocaine in my veins.
And darlin the dirt beneath your feet,
And the scars that line your knees,
Are what keep me moving on, are what keep me moving on.
When broken down out on the streets,
And not a sign that I can see
You’re the compass that I need.
You’re the cocaine inside my blood stream
You’re the bright light, the constant moon beam
You’re the north wind that will carry me home.
You’re the woman I’ve been looking for
Because you’re the cocaine in my veins
- Joshua James
I lived in Irving, Texas (right outside of Dallas, Texas) for 2 ½ years. I loved it there. I absolutely loved it. I cried when I had to leave. That was 1993, when I left. Keith was born in Dallas. It’s always going to be a special place in my heart.
Lately I’ve felt very strong. I’ve felt like I’ve truly overcome things. I find that I have been doubting myself because I’m currently working on something I’ve been hush hush about but a few of you (my only 2 readers…lol) seem to be onto me. I never thought I could do this process myself and yet here I am doing it. Entirely on my own, with tidbits of input from Rick. But truly, I am doing it alone. I am proud of myself and I realize at long last I am a different person. I am confident, independent and strong. So much stronger. I haven’t talked about it, as in out and out because I don’t want to jinx myself and I want to rejoice at the finish line. And honestly, it all comes down to hard work and belief in oneself. I am still crossing fingers and I’m reserved and detached. I’m nervous and jittery and yet, I am in the process and it’s exciting, rewarding and I am so fucking proud of myself I could scream. It’s not a miracle or a magic trick. Strength is something you have to plant, water and wait patiently to grow within oneself.
I’ve got this habit I’ve got to kick
Medicine I need just starts to make me sick
Shoulders I lean on start to be a crutch
Babe I think I needed you a little much
But I’m getting stronger, stronger, stronger
I get just a little bit stronger every day
I’m getting stronger, stronger, stronger
I get just a little bit stronger every day
You showed me the ropes but there were these strings
Tied around my hopes unraveling
So I took the loose ends and I made a vest
To cover up this precious thing inside my chest
And I’m getting stronger, stronger, stronger
I’m getting just a little bit stronger every day
I’m getting stronger, stronger, stronger
I’m getting just a little bit stronger every day
And the hole I never thought would fill
Started to spill
I’m getting stronger, stronger, stronger
I get just a little bit stronger every day
I’m getting stronger, stronger, stronger
I get stronger the further you are away
I had this problem but I’ve got it licked
I learned to tell the difference between a miracle and a magic trick
Darden Smith
