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  1. Matthew’s 1!

    April 27, 2008 by shishnit

    Yesterday was Matthew’s birthday. He’s 1 already. If he could understand I would thank him so so much for being patient with me and my personal issues long enough to allow me to grow to love him without measure. He’s the sweetest boy ever and I’m one lucky Aunt to have him. He still smells like little baby…so precious.

     Matthew's 1st Birthday

    Category Uncategorized, family | Tags: | 1 Comment

  2. you’re the cocaine

    April 15, 2008 by shishnit

    Well I broke, I wrote a song
    About our love, and how its strong
    How your kisses keep me warm.
    And even when I make you cry,
    I’ll still sing you lullabies.
    Make those grey clouds bright blue skies.
    Because you’re the cocaine in my veins.

    This is something I regret
    Not confessing how I felt,
    How my heart beats quicker still.
    So melt your body into mine,
    Become as one over time,
    Lord shake her bones and make her mine.
    Because you’re the cocaine in my veins.

    And darlin the dirt beneath your feet,
    And the scars that line your knees,
    Are what keep me moving on, are what keep me moving on.
    When broken down out on the streets,
    And not a sign that I can see
    You’re the compass that I need.

    You’re the cocaine inside my blood stream
    You’re the bright light, the constant moon beam
    You’re the north wind that will carry me home.

    You’re the woman I’ve been looking for
    Because you’re the cocaine in my veins

    - Joshua James

    Category Uncategorized, poetical | Tags: | No Comments

  3. This article does not surprise me….

    March 27, 2008 by shishnit

    that you can read here
     

    I lived in Irving, Texas (right outside of Dallas, Texas) for 2 ½ years.  I loved it there.  I absolutely loved it.  I cried when I had to leave.  That was 1993, when I left.  Keith was born in Dallas.  It’s always going to be a special place in my heart.

    Category Uncategorized, life | Tags: | No Comments

  4. I learned to tell the difference between a miracle and a magic trick

    March 14, 2008 by shishnit

    Lately I’ve felt very strong.  I’ve felt like I’ve truly overcome things. I find that I have been doubting myself because I’m currently working on something I’ve been hush hush about but a few of you (my only 2 readers…lol) seem to be onto me.  I never thought I could do this process myself and yet here I am doing it.  Entirely on my own, with tidbits of input from Rick.  But truly, I am doing it alone.  I am proud of myself and I realize at long last I am a different person.  I am confident, independent and strong.  So much stronger.  I haven’t talked about it, as in out and out because I don’t want to jinx myself and I want to rejoice at the finish line.  And honestly, it all comes down to hard work and belief in oneself.  I am still crossing fingers and I’m reserved and detached.  I’m nervous and jittery and yet, I am in the process and it’s exciting, rewarding and I am so fucking proud of myself I could scream.  It’s not a miracle or a magic trick.  Strength is something you have to plant, water and wait patiently to grow within oneself.

     

    I’ve got this habit I’ve got to kick
    Medicine I need just starts to make me sick
    Shoulders I lean on start to be a crutch
    Babe I think I needed you a little much
    But I’m getting stronger, stronger, stronger
    I get just a little bit stronger every day
    I’m getting stronger, stronger, stronger
    I get just a little bit stronger every day

    You showed me the ropes but there were these strings
    Tied around my hopes unraveling
    So I took the loose ends and I made a vest
    To cover up this precious thing inside my chest
    And I’m getting stronger, stronger, stronger
    I’m getting just a little bit stronger every day
    I’m getting stronger, stronger, stronger
    I’m getting just a little bit stronger every day
    And the hole I never thought would fill
    Started to spill

    I’m getting stronger, stronger, stronger
    I get just a little bit stronger every day
    I’m getting stronger, stronger, stronger
    I get stronger the further you are away
    I had this problem but I’ve got it licked
    I learned to tell the difference between a miracle and a magic trick 

     

    Darden Smith 

     

     

     

    Category Uncategorized | Tags: | 2 Comments

  5. we make love so hard

    March 7, 2008 by shishnit

    trouble comes to our house
    every other week
    first you and then me
    with a tear on our cheek
    over and over the same mistakes
    how many last straws till it breaks
    oh, we make love so hard
    we make love so hard 

     

    scratching at the old wounds
    laying blame
    calling up the old ghosts
    taking names
    over and over same mistakes
    how many close calls can we shake 


    oh, we make love so hard
    oh, we make love so hard 

     

    it doesn’t have to be this way
    we’ve seen better days 

     

    oh, we make love so hard
    oh, we make love so hard
    oh, we make love so hard
    why do we make love so hard 

     

    -Darden Smith 

    Category Uncategorized, poetical | Tags: | No Comments

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