shishnit.org

Have you ever googled an ex-boyfriend? ex-girlfriend? What was the outcome?  Were you sorry you did it?  Did you learn something that changed the way you remembered him or her?

If you think you had a bad day…..read this

Two cops killed in Tampa last night.  One married with 4 children, one married with a wife 9 months pregnant.  His wife goes into labor within hours of learning her husband is gone.  Heartwrenching.  Truly heartwrenching.  Sometimes I just hate the world and how cruel it is. A baby coming in to the world just in time to say goodbye to his or her Daddy.  So unfair.

Because of Dooce’s cancellation of her trip to Florida….I want you to know I live in St Petersburg, FL and the beaches all along my coast are clean and clear and lovely. IE: If you simply move your trip a bit south…you’re good to go.  Do some research people.  It’s not like Florida is entirely affected.  Clearwater Beach is quite lovely….so is St Pete Beach….on and there’s Indian Rocks Beach..there’s Bellair Beach….ohhhh the beaches are endless.  Destin is not the end all be all.

Come visit me…I’ll show you some beautiful beaches. I promise.

I haven’t been an honest open blogger like I was in the past.  With everything that’s been going on with my relationships with everyone in my life right now,  I just haven’t had the heart to jump back on the crazy train that my life seems to have turned into over the last few months.  I’ve been spending a lot of time just staring off into space, swimming in the river denial and wondering how things have gotten to this place.

Rick and I are falling apart, have fallen apart…might fall apart…are experiencing major trauma…are a mess….are apart…?  I don’t even know. I can’t even pinpoint where things took a big left turn. I only know that I’m not the one that grabbed that stearing wheel and headed off in the direction of the cliff side.  I know he did.  I just don’t know why or what happened.

I have cried, been in shock…fought for my own sanity and just sat bawling and praying to some entity that has no name but that of “hope” for quite a few weeks now. I’ve felt like his mother, his confidant, sometimes his partner in crime…a crime I never wanted to comit.  Its so raw right now, I can’t put it into words.  I have cheered other’s on as they rejoice for their new spring day…their rebirth and I am standing in a room full of shards of glass and it vaguely reminds me of some other chapter of my life…only worse because this time it matters on such a different level.

Maybe someday I’ll talk about it, blog about it.  Maybe not.  Hopefully I won’t have to.  I don’t want to.  Right now I somehow had to because it all just hurts and hurts and when I think I can be hurt no more, I am hurt tenfold again.

Do you think Thelma and Louise somehow landed on a safety net after their car went over?
 

Coworker A: Are you going to have a beer at the Court Side?