shishnit.org

and now…after so long I have written my own poem

the bookstore

just the other day
poetry isle was slim

so slim
there was barely
barely any
thing

my shelves at home
hold it all
stood there
wanting to die
ached to be

m o v e d
by words

Someone ele’s

wanted to crunch through the ie’s
and skip through the open door c’s
I wanted

WANTED

I
left hungry.
left starving.
those shelves
held nothing

I left crying

Thanks to someone special who’s been somewhere in the corners of my world for a long long time…thanks for inspiring me! And for sharing. It takes guts to share.

I was writing a gf from work emails today about my trip to Daytona.  She used to work with me in Florida and then transferred with the company out of state.  Today out of nowhere she randomly wrote this….

From: Dortrecia

Sent: Monday, August 10, 2009 1:25 PM

To: Kristy

Subject: RE: look what I was doing yesterday….

YOU are so talented.. I love the way you write!

From: Kristy

Sent: Monday, August 10, 2009 10:39 AM

To: Dortrecia

Subject: RE: look what I was doing yesterday….

Uh…..thanks I guess….tho’ not sure what you mean…just emailing you.

From: Dortrecia

Sent: Monday, August 10, 2009 2:53 PM

To: Kristy

Subject: RE: look what I was doing yesterday….

Sorry… I just like the way you write. It makes me smile… You sure you went to *college name I attended/attend and we both work for inserted here*? ( I know… that was bad) ..sorry

 From: Kristy

Sent: Monday, August 10, 2009 11:56 AM

To: Dortrecia

Subject: RE: look what I was doing yesterday….

Awww…thanks. Everyone tells me I need to write a book or greeting cards or some big novel or something.

From: Dortrecia

Sent: Monday, August 10, 2009 3:01 PM

To: Kristy

Subject: RE: look what I was doing yesterday….

I have told you the same. …Just sign  my copy!

This week has been one of the worst in quite some time.  Between career delusions, a marital spat and school…I’ve been insane.  I’ve been miserable, etc.

Last week I went to my doctor for the bi-annual checkup and I finally confessed to her my inability to fall asleep in any semblance of a timely manner.   She prescribed doxipen.  It’s an anti-depressant that has the unfortunate side affect of sleepiness.  Go figure. I stop antidepressants years and years ago and thought I was doing wonderfully in the mental world but blam here I am again taking an anti-depressant.  JUST TO FALL ASLEEP.  However, it’s been a week and I’m now able to fall asleep in a timely fashion.  I take a pill and within 30 minutes to 45 minutes I’m sufficiently sleepy and am able to turn off the lights and zzzzzzzzzz I’m out with the lights.  Thank you thank you pharmaceutical companies.

That one resolution came right at a time when everything else was a mess.  I’ve been struggling with old demons, recognizing long ignored behaviors in myself, etc. etc.  That one little pill I keep knocking back with my bedtime drink has saved me from sure emotiona ruin and a return to the trainwreck ride.  I swear.  Why?  JUST BECAUSE…because, I’m sleeping and the sleep is keeping my mind safe and sound despite my stress.

Ok, so maybe it’s that I’m actually better these days and even without that pill I would have survived.  But I’m sleeping again and falling asleep instead of tossing and turning and that one little pill is worth it.  I’m also reading again.  I’m reading the second of what will be my last book for the Chunkster challenge. 

Rick and I are also planning a much needed foray to Daytona Beach to visit the brother from another mother and his girlfriend.  I like her.I really really like her and that is so very good for my female friendship arena. I set out not long ago to resolve my issues with women (due to my slag mother) and I am achieving those goals.  It feels good.  I also got a call from that women I met at Target.  I then met two women in one day at the bookstore.  (they each deserve their own blog post..so stay tuned).

Things are good.  I’m sleeping again.  Perhaps that means I will be actively blogging again.  Perhaps.

I’ve had this creative idea in my backpocket for several years and yet never enough time.  Being a full time employee and student takes a lot of time.  Squeezing in time for husband, reading and cuddling with Chloe saps the rest of my time, or so it seems.  My idea has been haunting me.  Some of you may know what my idea is because I contacted you before saying I was going to start a new venture and then somewhere or somehow time beat me down and I never began.  I still have that dream and that idea and low and behold someone I admire and have much esteem for asked me to join in him a joint venture.  I accepted.  This marks my first writing gig.  The opportunity came to me, was offered twice, it was meant to be. I’m doing it.

Back to reading “The Prince of Tides”.  Sweet reading….I think that along with Norman Mailer that this year I am also falling in love with Pat Conroy.  This book will end my Chunkster challenge.  I believe I chose two other books and read neither of them.  That’s usually how my reading goes. I plan and then I ramble through doing nothing on my plan. Whew.

From an email I got today from my longtime friend TonyMacaroni.

He’s starting his own business in the line of education (something I know lots about) and something that has the potential to take off.  I think it’s a great business idea and plan myself.  His email ….

I’ll need a ghostwriter. I know you are awesome with writing and blogging, so you are actually the PERFECT person to do this for me. For now, I am trying to write articles myself. I think I need to since I’m not all that busy yet, and it’s just part of running my own business as an entrepreneur. But, if you would wanna write a couple of articles that I could post on my Blog maybe, for now, as a favor, that would be awesome. I would credit you fully as a colleague and your name and email, but also as associated with my website too.

Copywriting here I come.

Good thing he doesn’t realize just how lazy I am with updating my own blog..hahahaha….

I read this on a famous writer’s website today.

What do you consider your greatest literary accomplishment?
I have quite literally worn the letters off two consecutive computer keyboards.
So what I say.  So have I. In fact I wear the keys off of every keyboard I ever own.  Typing fast is not a literary accomplishment.  This especially urks me because this author is what I would term accomplished….in that Danelle Steele kind of way.

On and if you want to hear the funniest Christmas song ever, download

Dominik the Donkey – Lou Monte

It will make you laugh.

3 posts in one day.  Somebody put me back in a class. Ok ok so I start the same class I dropped again next Tuesday.  Whew.